Not Really About Rooks

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FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Not Really About Rooks

#1 Post by FranktheFrank » 23 Apr 2019, 12:39

Not Really about Rooks

Swans will sing when rooks are silent.
Greek - Roman adage - Erasmus

They rock and loll in plane copse tops,
sway wind lullabies in feathered roosts,
keep late hours courtesy of neon lights,
look down, watch the news
from the wide screen of the Indian Balti.

Measure our lives, note our passing
to the shopping centre, give me
the ‘good-human’ caw. Drop gifts:
a shining pebble from the brook,
a Pepsi Cola bottle top bright with colour,

Sit in murders on the telephone cables,
black harbingers of death, forecasters
of tempests.

They display a penchant
for curried take-away’s, cast-off's,
fish an' chips, and meat pies
speckled with alcohol-induced vomit,
all the same to them.

They wade through the mess, swathes
of fish 'n chips wrapping paper
in the kiddie’s playground.

When the apocalypse strikes
and the skies burn red, when black
clouds cover the planet, when Geiger
increases its count, crows will rule.
They will speak of us with fondness
yet glad we had passed on.

*****
A reworked poem of mine which was placed 3rd
in the November1915 IBPC judged by Barbara Seigel Carson,
formerly titled: Urban Crows.

A number of poets have commented that the Erasmus reference is not needed,
however I find it so apt for this poem, generally I feel poems should not be explained,
but Ken's title on his win for February inst., and poem about crows made me rethink
this work. The poem title is not a lie as Ken's judge mentioned in her analysis,
I prefer to think of the title as, It's Not Only a Poem About crows. In my ignorance
my last title was wrong, crows are solitary creatures whereas rooks collect in murders,
and so I have changed from crows to rooks. The adage by Erasmus of Rotterdam,
an expert or rather near genius in translating from the Greek, refers to the dying call
of swans, swans were thought silent for most of their lives and only burst out in song
on the days before their deaths, and rooks, crows, jackdaws were thought silly, foolish
and evil, a metaphor for silly people, whereas the swan was thought noble and wise.
You can make the jump from the adage to real life yourselves. :)

The whole point of my poem originally was to draw attention to the impending
death of our planet, global warming is a reality despite what President Trumps states
so unequivocally, we are surrounded by dead planets that held life at one time,
or could have been a host to life. Rising sea levels are a reality, the end is nigh.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Not Really About Rooks

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 26 Apr 2019, 04:15

This works well... it’s hard not thinking of Ken’s poem, but regardless it makes its way in much the same manner, with as much crow-ness imaginable, leading naturally to the final, effective stanza....

Nitpick: last line should have a “be” in it

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Not Really About Rooks

#3 Post by FranktheFrank » 26 Apr 2019, 11:09

Sorry Bob, can't see a need for a 'be'.

This was written in 2015 and won a 3rd place in the IBPC
albeit a longer and more detailed form.

Thanks for the feedback Bob.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Not Really About Rooks

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 26 Apr 2019, 20:39

I was thinking to put a “be” before glad... good either way

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Not Really About Rooks

#5 Post by FranktheFrank » 14 May 2019, 16:40

Ta Bob, mocha gratis

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