Manet Paints "Berthe Morisot With a Bouquet of Violets"
Chaperoned by Mother
but fidgety
I tried to gaze back with calm
as he pointed to a seat.
A girlish giggle
squirmed up in me
like a spring about to burst
to the surface.
My eyes felt large
and that’s how Manet
captured them--as big
dark, adoring eyes.
Above my pile
of chestnut curls, a black hat.
I wore a darker dress,
a matching ribbon
strung across my neck.
He chatted with my mother
and as she glanced down,
lost in her book,
I wondered,
was Edouard that rarest of men,
one who could treat a woman
as an equal?
Reading my mind,
he flashed a nod, as memorable
and as fleeting as his brushstrokes.
It was as if our fingers
had touched for the first time,
furtively,
my nerves stirring
like a pond tickled by rain.
Manet Paints "Berthe Morisot With a Bouquet of Violets"
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Re: Manet Paints "Berthe Morisot With a Bouquet of Violets"
The first sentence, 'but' means 'except' so the minor clause of
that sentence means except I was fidgeting.
you could say: Despite being chaperoned I was fidgety.'
or: Although chaperoned I was fidgety.
or: I fidgeted, Mother chaperoned me.
Second Stanza, girlish giggle is telling,
I like: giggles break from me like a spring reaching to the surface.
3rd S. 'I wore' is telling, how about starting
He painted me with a . . .
Not keen on 'I felt large eyes.
4th Prefer: He chatted with Mother . . .
Found it rather politically correct. Maybe too obvious.
I like s5, perhaps show why she liked him,
what was it she liked, the nod is good.
Those two clicked.
S6. something moved in her, but wasn't it more than nerves,
the pheromones were contacting, what really was happening.
In the spirit of workshopping,
ieuan
that sentence means except I was fidgeting.
you could say: Despite being chaperoned I was fidgety.'
or: Although chaperoned I was fidgety.
or: I fidgeted, Mother chaperoned me.
Second Stanza, girlish giggle is telling,
I like: giggles break from me like a spring reaching to the surface.
3rd S. 'I wore' is telling, how about starting
He painted me with a . . .
Not keen on 'I felt large eyes.
4th Prefer: He chatted with Mother . . .
Found it rather politically correct. Maybe too obvious.
I like s5, perhaps show why she liked him,
what was it she liked, the nod is good.
Those two clicked.
S6. something moved in her, but wasn't it more than nerves,
the pheromones were contacting, what really was happening.
In the spirit of workshopping,
ieuan
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- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Manet Paints "Berthe Morisot With a Bouquet of Violets"
Love this , though I confess no knowledge of the artist.
That doesn't mean the reader cannot enjoy the interplay and thoughts of the model. Yet another great persona poem7
That doesn't mean the reader cannot enjoy the interplay and thoughts of the model. Yet another great persona poem7
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Re: Manet Paints "Berthe Morisot With a Bouquet of Violets"
Frank, thanks for the comments.....
Ken, so glad you liked this....Morisot was one of the early impressionists, and exhibited with them frequently. She was highly thought of by all the major impressionists.
Ken, so glad you liked this....Morisot was one of the early impressionists, and exhibited with them frequently. She was highly thought of by all the major impressionists.
Re: Manet Paints "Berthe Morisot With a Bouquet of Violets"
Wonderful write
The ending
my nerves stirring
like a pond tickled by rain.
very illustrative.
I love the poem.
The ending
my nerves stirring
like a pond tickled by rain.
very illustrative.
I love the poem.
meenas17
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- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Manet Paints "Berthe Morisot With a Bouquet of Violets"
Thanks, Meenas