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The Eunuch. Revised

Posted: 15 May 2019, 20:39
by Kenneth2816
Starless night in Thebes, I caught him.
A slave-boy , attempting to flee
through the moon gate. I bound
him with serpents, fed him Tuna
and honey-garlic, washed his body

with lime and pepper-water. He made
no sound at the blade. The names
of his unborn kiss my fingers
the way minnows announce
themselves in solitary bubbles
that break on the surface of a pond.

Re: The Eunuch

Posted: 16 May 2019, 00:09
by BobBradshaw
Loved
Starless night in Thebes, I caught him.
A slave-boy , attempting to flee
through the moon gate. I bound
him with serpents, fed him Tuna
and honey-garlic, washed his body

with lime and pepper-water

I am intrigued but a bit lost with the serpents..are they chains in the shape of serpents?

Is the kiss the bleeding? Sorry I’m in a bit of a fog this morning

Re: The Eunuch

Posted: 16 May 2019, 00:51
by Kenneth2816
Whatever works for you, works for me

Re: The Eunuch

Posted: 25 May 2019, 16:34
by Kenneth2816
Starless night in Thebes, I caught him.
A slave-boy making for
the moon gate. I put a ring
through his nose, bound him
with serpents, fed him Tuna
and honey-garlic until
he grew sleek, bathed him
with quicklime and pepper-water.


I sold him to the high priest
for a promise of favor from Horus
and seven casks of oil.
That night, he made no sound
at the blade. They will shave
his head and make him a litter
bearer when he comes into his own.


Sometimes, I hear the murmur
of his unborn, their names kiss
my fingers the way minnows
announce themselves with bubbles
that pop on the surface of a pond.

When I returned to the city,
my fakhir told me my grandsons
were taken in a raid. On the Nile,
there is a bird that stands in
a crocodile's mouth gleaning
the leavings from its teeth.
In a stasis of mutual need,
the beast does not bite.

Re: The Eunuch. Revised

Posted: 25 May 2019, 16:34
by Kenneth2816
REVISED

Re: The Eunuch. Revised

Posted: 25 May 2019, 19:56
by BobBradshaw
The closing works better

Re: The Eunuch. Revised

Posted: 25 May 2019, 20:17
by Kenneth2816
Thanks. I always value your input

Re: The Eunuch. Revised

Posted: 25 May 2019, 21:27
by BobBradshaw
As I yours

Re: The Eunuch. Revised

Posted: 26 May 2019, 18:24
by meenas17
I value both your inputs, Ken and Bob.

Re: The Eunuch. Revised

Posted: 28 May 2019, 02:52
by capricorn
This is a winner, Ken. Great revision.

Eira

Re: The Eunuch. Revised

Posted: 28 May 2019, 05:34
by Kenneth2816
Thank you Eira. Means a lot coming from you

Re: The Eunuch. Revised

Posted: 16 Jun 2019, 02:23
by Kenneth2816
Artificiall. Bump to boost the number of views because I'm a narcissist and you are all my source of supply