Business As Usual

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meenas17
Posts: 685
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Business As Usual

#1 Post by meenas17 » 21 Jun 2019, 07:54

Paucity of space
where I can store
gifts and presentations,
make my house unkempt.

The racks overwhelm.
Vessels,boxes and baskets
of all sizes and materials
might crash any moment.

I chalk out an anteroom
near my parlour. Must have
racks partitions to arrange,
along with nice ventilation.


Adding a room is not cheap
I find, The cost exceeds
the value of gifts by thousands.
Not wisdom, I understand.

It is quits for now,
I will revive, perhaps,
when the receivables
surpass the expenditure.

It is business you discern.
meenas17

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1016
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Business As Usual

#2 Post by SivaRamanathan » 21 Jun 2019, 10:05

Do you really need racks partitions? Rack partitions,is not the same thing?
Nice ventilation.This'nice' is not a nice word for poetry.Please change the adjective.
I find, The cost exceeds ('the' instead of The.)
It is business you discern,(.)

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1534
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Business As Usual

#3 Post by FranktheFrank » 21 Jun 2019, 16:34

This is funny Meena, we do spend too much
on our homes, hopefully we will
recoup our losses in time.

I take Siva's point, maybe 'partitioned racks' would be better.

Your choice.

L6 needs a space after the comma.

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Billy
Posts: 952
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Business As Usual

#4 Post by Billy » 22 Jun 2019, 20:43

I know the situation. I like the humor.

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