What It's Really Like

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1178
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

What It's Really Like

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 25 Jun 2019, 12:56

There is supposed to be walls,
containment, a separation.
I need medication to attain this.

A sound or smell, a scenario in a book,
something a friend shares, can trigger
a tsunami of emotion unfortunate.

It's too hard to tell a dream from
a memory, memory from fantasy,
fantasy from actuality.

Memory is stored in the limbic
system, and sometimes, the body
does things of its own accord

like tremors. It moves itself as if
detached from its host, says things
not meant to be spoken, recalls

events that seize the attention
scenes, like in a movie. There is
no way to shut the projector off,

things of a sudden buried for years.
You develop diarrhea, begin to
prespire, every muscle aches locked

in a death match with the past, you
lose your voice, vision, and hearing.
PTSD is the spider crawling over

your foot that disappears the moment
you look at it so that one can never
know if it's ok to feel the legs on

your skin or chalk it up to dementia.
A hand held over the flame feels
nothing, and then the vibrancy of

A floral arrangement causes every
nerve and fibre of your being to
become aroused. They say talking

doesn't help, but that doesn't explain
the whispers only you can hear, and
you WANT to speak with them, if

only to get to the bottom of things,
a resolution, something predictable,
and the things they tell you might

be the answers you're looking for,
or just lunacy. You can never know.
The best you can hope for is

the handful of pills you take with
A tumbler of Scotch will buy you
four hours sleep without nightmares.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1391
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: What It's Really Like

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 27 Jun 2019, 09:17

This poem has incredible ambition....What a nightmare ...the horror! the horror! of Kurtz is child's play to this terrifying world. You explain so well this hell. My heart goes out to him or her who goes through this. From a workshop perspective, what would I do? Well, the imagery is terrific, and terrifying. How to make the poem better? Maybe clothe the speaker as someone specific, talking to....

the listener...as well...someone eavesdropping, a bored psychologist, a part of the body even?

So many outstanding lines:

It moves itself as if
detached from its host, says things
not meant to be spoken, recalls

events that seize the attention
scenes, like in a movie. There is
no way to shut the projector off,

and

PTSD is the spider crawling over

your foot that disappears the moment
you look at it so that one can never
know if it's ok to feel the legs on

your skin or chalk it up to dementia.
A hand held over the flame feels
nothing, and then the vibrancy of

A floral arrangement causes every
nerve and fibre of your being to
become aroused. They say talking

doesn't help, but that doesn't explain
the whispers only you can hear, and
you WANT to speak with them, if

only to get to the bottom of things,

and the resolution to all this? (A tweak of punctuation might help in these last 4 lines, or replace "will" with "to"...?)

The best you can hope for is

the handful of pills you take with
A tumbler of Scotch will buy you
four hours sleep without nightmares.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1178
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: What It's Really Like

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 27 Jun 2019, 11:20

Thanks Bob. I knew it was risky to post. Some topics aren't well suited for poetry,and some poems just aren't that appealing. You've been generous.

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