Kadaneri Ayyanar

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meenas17
Posts: 604
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Kadaneri Ayyanar

#1 Post by meenas17 » 19 Jul 2019, 15:56

Ayyanar, a village deity,
with sturdy physique,
rounded shoulders,
delivers untold fear.
The bulging eyes
express both awe
and benevolence

Residing in a small temple
in the middle of sparse
vegetation where Banyan
and Palmyrah trees
render life, where silence
rules with dignity.

Ayyanar is powerful
shows ruthlessness
when he hears lies,
sees impostors, and burglars.
Other deities
who stay with him extend
an aura of strength.

A long narrow winding roads
to the sanctum signals a feel
of eerie.The devotee walks in
carries tender coconuts, milk,
curd, honey, fruit, garlands,
and flowers to honour Ayyanar.

The priest is a local herdsman
ignorant and innocent, conducts
the pooja with diligence.
and dedication, Chanting
of mantras and hymns do not
take place.

Most times the priest
turns possessed. He shouts
cries hoarse and dances.
Those around grow ecstatic
rush to hear his words. Belief
being Ayyanar speaks through him.

The worship turns impressive. Simple
and conversation like the prayers
take place. The gathering disperses
after receiving the blessings.
An experience quaint and special.
Ayyanar is left alone in the place
to the hoot of owls.
meenas17

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1227
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Kadaneri Ayyanar

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 19 Jul 2019, 22:13

I like many of the details, as here:

Residing in a small temple
in the middle of sparse
vegetation where Banyan
and Palmyrah trees
render life

but the poem would be better if you trimmed out the telling lines, and left the details to render the emotions....an example of telling:

An experience quaint and special

As I said, many good lines in this poem....

example of good details:
The devotee walks in
carries tender coconuts, milk,
curd, honey, fruit, garlands,
and flowers

capricorn
Posts: 261
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Kadaneri Ayyanar

#3 Post by capricorn » 19 Jul 2019, 22:35

You have the bones of a good poem here, Meena, but as Bob says it needs a good trim back.
I too like these lines

Residing in a small temple
in the middle of sparse
vegetation where Banyan
and Palmyrah trees
render life

I look forward to any revisions you make.
Eira

meenas17
Posts: 604
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Kadaneri Ayyanar

#4 Post by meenas17 » 20 Jul 2019, 07:03

I will cut those telling lines as suggested by you Bob.
Thanks .
meenas17

meenas17
Posts: 604
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Kadaneri Ayyanar

#5 Post by meenas17 » 20 Jul 2019, 07:04

Eira,

If trimming could make the poem better I will do in the revision .
meenas17

Kenneth2816
Posts: 991
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Kadaneri Ayyanar

#6 Post by Kenneth2816 » 21 Jul 2019, 22:17

Once again, an intriguing poem. I looked him up saw many photos. You want to correct physic with physique.

meenas17
Posts: 604
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Kadaneri Ayyanar

#7 Post by meenas17 » 22 Jul 2019, 18:27

I visited the temple a few days back, Ken.I
Tried to bring the feel I experienced in this poem.
meenas17

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