Old Number One

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Old Number One

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 01 Aug 2019, 16:47

....thou shalt have no strange gods
before me.

Not the crazy six- armed one with
A cocktail in each hand who drags
You out to bars on a Friday night,

The one-eyed one staring woodenly,
Cigar in his mouth like Churchill,
Lap full of pesos and coconuts..

Last night I dreamt your alabaster
Breasts kissed by a sliver of moon.
My body was sleek like a lion- headed

Deity with wings of eagles, we built
Temples in the desert, an offering of
Sacrifice, the unflagging stars

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Old Number One

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 05 Aug 2019, 22:36

Sounds a bit Bernie-esque. Excellent images... loved the first 2 stanzas...all although I don’t know the reference to the pesos and coconuts. I like how you are telling everything strictly through imagery.

The change in tone from the 2nd to the 3rd stanza is jolting but at the same time exhilarating... feels like 2 different poems, but the violent fusion somehow energized the poem. What I don’t quite get is the sacrifice... what kind of sacrifice, and for whom? The poem for me hinges on the answers.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Old Number One

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 05 Aug 2019, 23:06

Thank you Bob. Pesos and coconuts refers to Santeria. Babilu ( Lucille Ball's husband Ricky Ricardo called him Bobby Louy ) is of Cuban origin. He is often depicted with cigars and offerings of food and money.

I cannot answer about the sacrifice. I didn't think that far through it.

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