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Posts: 1534
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea


#1 Post by FranktheFrank » 17 Sep 2019, 13:27

“Having an appetite for knowledge and wanting to develop
Is important, but I believe empowering people and giving
them ownership and responsibility.”

Warren Gatland

The hot weather has dispersed in Kitakyūshū
like the mountain mists the heat has drifted away
warm days remain, mellow, yellow days.

Hundreds of Thousands of Europeans have invaded
this great land. A contingent of Welsh have taken hold
in the southern city of seven prefectures: Kokura Minami,
Yahata Nishi, Wakamatsu, Moji, Kokura Kita, Yahata Higashi
and Tobata.

They wear crimson red apparel, donating blood shed
of a warrior caste, fierce, they give no mercy, unrelenting
in their attacks, so swift and skilled the local inhabitants
gasp for breath at their audacious tactics.

Ancient warriors wage
war, waves of red overwhelm
Nihon – rising sun

The populace surrender how can they not love
this lovable people, a small nation, the smallest
in Europe, just 3 million inhabitants, 19 million
in the USA singing about it, this glorious people.

They queue for three hours to meet the invaders
15 000 enter the central stadium to welcome them
with song, Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau echoes around
the surrounding hills, followed by a rendering
of Calon Lân. The visitors reduced to tears
respond in kind, sing back to their hosts.
Two ancient peoples in a love match.

Sing - not of earthly ease
Give me a heart made happy
White virtuous clean


Posts: 1558
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Invasion

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 19 Sep 2019, 20:20

Some good writing. Enjoyed. I like the ending...I would cut the last 3 lines.... they aren’t needed... and in this age “white virtual clean” may be misinterpreted as racist, not as pure of heart

good close:
The visitors reduced to tears
respond in kind, sing back to their hosts.
Two ancient peoples in a love match.

Posts: 1168
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Invasion

#3 Post by SivaRamanathan » 19 Sep 2019, 20:48

Thousands (thousands) I like the controlled narration.


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