Smelling the Roses

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judyt547
Posts: 131
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
Location: middle of the woods
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Smelling the Roses

#1 Post by judyt547 » 24 Oct 2019, 17:45

When you finally realize
that smelling the roses
means finding thorns hidden
under the leaves
you no longer stop by the side of the road
to pick them
although, to be fair,
sometimes you do roll down the window
for just a whiff
as you speed on by

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1230
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Smelling the Roses

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 24 Oct 2019, 17:53

Nice thought, but total cliche that brings not much new or fresh. Again, nice thought 👍

judyt547
Posts: 131
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
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Re: Smelling the Roses

#3 Post by judyt547 » 24 Oct 2019, 19:20

Fair enough, but we gotta start somewhere. First thing I've written in five years. =)

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1670
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Smelling the Roses

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 24 Oct 2019, 20:12

I don't think it's a cliche...it starts with a cliche and finds a new way of expressing its idea...I like the humor and the voice in this

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1230
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Smelling the Roses

#5 Post by Kenneth2816 » 24 Oct 2019, 20:48

Gotcha judy. I'm just glad you're here

judyt547
Posts: 131
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
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Re: Smelling the Roses

#6 Post by judyt547 » 25 Oct 2019, 00:38

Bob, come sit by me on the comfy bench in the sun. You're both right. I'm glad Im here too, and no im not a sensitive blossom, I'm just delighted that one small wheel started to turn, up there. Finally. It's hard, sometimes, to realize that maybe you've used up all the words and the ideas, but maybe just being around other poets helps. I dunno.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1670
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Smelling the Roses

#7 Post by BobBradshaw » 25 Oct 2019, 00:50

It helps, and poetry is usually best when it’s a team effort

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1534
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Smelling the Roses

#8 Post by FranktheFrank » 25 Oct 2019, 01:10

Seems a good start
add the word 'prick' in there
that will add drama.
We would like you to stay
but, don't burn up.

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Billy
Posts: 1007
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Smelling the Roses

#9 Post by Billy » 25 Oct 2019, 01:32

A senyru I wrote:

twilight
a skunk stops
to smell the roses

judyt547
Posts: 131
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
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Re: Smelling the Roses

#10 Post by judyt547 » 25 Oct 2019, 02:13

Billy, i like that. Even a skunk has feelings. =)

Frank, I don't burn easily, trust me. ahaha I like your style,
but the whole idea is about a 'prick' of sorts, don't want to
be totally redundant there.

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