Baffling Silence

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Baffling Silence

#1 Post by meenas17 » 05 Dec 2020, 16:02

Trees with huge branches
stay dumb like big stone walls,
leaves do not flutter nor rustle
with a whiz, tweets of birds
cannot be heard.

Could this be a premonition?
I wonder. Anything
hazardous is on the anvil,
I deliberate. Nothing at all
it is hallucination haunting,

I reconcile. Lost in thoughts
recalling the day when
I felt the breath of life.
when I experienced the
spirited cheer. I sigh.

When will those return?
I peek through the window,
curious to find if there
is any activity. I track a
swift movement.

far away in the backyard, I see
a squirrel hovering with
a penchant, a butterfly
circumambulating a red rose
Life back again.
meenas17

User avatar
Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Baffling Silence

#2 Post by Billy » 06 Dec 2020, 07:40

Really like the opening stanza. I like this a lot: "Anything/hazardous is on the anvil".
I think you should end at the third stanza: "I sigh."

Post Reply