Evening In Jurassica

[Kenneth2816]

I'd walk out to where our road ends
or runs on under alias through thick
green corn rows that come right up
to the ditch, lie back on the edge
of the asphalt, the warm breath

of its other skin, before tar pits,
before comets rained like confetti.
It was a game to hide in tall grass.
The white line split from the crotch
and I became half boy, half lizard,

rolling away at the last second until
the screen door slam and a voice
from the backlit porch cried out
to come inside and eat or be eaten
beneath those dark and killing skies.

[BobBradshaw]

I really like the description in these opening lines....the screen door and a voice calling out to come inside recalls my childhood as well.

I'd walk out to where our road ends
or runs on under alias through thick
green corn rows that come right up
to the ditch, lie back on the edge
of the asphalt, the warm breath

of it's other skin, before tar pits,
before comets rained like confetti.

[meenas17]

Yes, the beginning is very good.

[Michael (MV)]

Hi Ken,

"Jurassica" - the concept of "paracosm" comes to mind

G & P (Grammar & Punctuation) --

1/ re "it's" -

of its other skin, 

^^should be the possessive "its,"
not the contraction it's, which is: it is.

2/ If "slam" is meant as verb, then slams or slammed.

If as a noun, then right as it.

3/ comma after "slam" & after "eat"


in the spirit of workshopping



Michael (MV)

[Kenneth2816]

Thank you