Another privileged cow
is roaming free
on the road,
unmindful of
of the bikes and cars
that hoot and halt,
with a bell
around the neck,
keeps on crossing.
These creatures,
revered in India
as a personification
of the Hindu Goddess, Lakshmi,
relish a free from pelting to shoo status,
not allowed to any other animal.
Licensed to saunter
munching the grass,
then suddenly lying down
at leisure, imposing itself
a hap hazardous roadblock.
Drivers unexpectedly find themselves subject
to swerving the bovine round about,
sharp turning, even stopping to reverse-
all erratic detouring,
a respectful gesturing
so as not to upset
or harm the sacred cow.
It is the cow
on the road
roams free
with a bell
around the neck
keeps crossing
unmindful
of the bikes and cars
that hoot and halt.
The cow saunters
munching the grass
lies down in the middle
seems a possible speed breaker
making the drivers
go round, turning diagonally
reversing to avoid hurting
the domesticated animal
creating a a disarray.
Cows considered sacred
by the Hindus possess
a status no other
animals dare think of
They do not encounter
beating or pelting
instead experience
a veneration, a kind
of worship as seen,
being a personification
of Goddess Lakshmi.
Cow
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Cow
Hi meenas17,
your poem takes me to the figure of speech --
privileged cow
or is that sacred cow, prompting me workshop-share the following embodiment. Michael (MV)
Anqother priviledged cow
is roaming free
on the road,
unmindful of
of the bikes and cars
that hoot and halt,
with a bell
around the neck,
keeps on crossing.
These creatures,
revered in India
as a personification
of the Hindu Goddess, Lakshmi,
relish a free from pelting to shoo status,
not allowed to any other animal.
Licensed to saunter
munching the grass,
then suddenly lying down
at leisure, imposing itself
a haphazardous roadblock.
Drivers unexpectedly find themselves subject
to swerving the bovine round about,
sharp turning, even stopping to reverse-
all erratic detouring,
a respectful gesturing
so as not to upset
or harm the sacred cow.
your poem takes me to the figure of speech --
privileged cow
or is that sacred cow, prompting me workshop-share the following embodiment. Michael (MV)
Anqother priviledged cow
is roaming free
on the road,
unmindful of
of the bikes and cars
that hoot and halt,
with a bell
around the neck,
keeps on crossing.
These creatures,
revered in India
as a personification
of the Hindu Goddess, Lakshmi,
relish a free from pelting to shoo status,
not allowed to any other animal.
Licensed to saunter
munching the grass,
then suddenly lying down
at leisure, imposing itself
a haphazardous roadblock.
Drivers unexpectedly find themselves subject
to swerving the bovine round about,
sharp turning, even stopping to reverse-
all erratic detouring,
a respectful gesturing
so as not to upset
or harm the sacred cow.
-
- Posts: 2691
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Cow
I like the first stanza best. S2 could be simplified a bit.
-
- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Cow
Hi meenas17,
Not sure if you are yet aware of it:
I went into my original response to your poem "Cows," and I have added some extensive workshopping,
for your perusal & consideration,
Michael (MV)
Not sure if you are yet aware of it:
I went into my original response to your poem "Cows," and I have added some extensive workshopping,
for your perusal & consideration,
Michael (MV)
-
- Posts: 2691
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Cow
Nice. I would cut the next to last stanza. It repeats essentially what has been said earlier.