Water from the blow hole fell
like a tepid rain and I knew then
the full measure of transgression.
The great unblinking eye, the
lateral roll, scissoring of its jaw
and I was drinked in with the sea
down a chasm not beast and not
earthen, but a portal inhuman
as if just for me- of course for me.
Rush of air as the lungs billowed,
the hammering heart,I trudged
the length of its tongue, sucked
gill-slit elder fish caught in the sieve
of baleen, knotted seaweed
to my hair in contrition.Three days-
though I could not tell the days-
I sat beneath the arch of rib,
the indelible darkness of Sheol
that hid even myself from myself,
and I prayed " how mightily have I
offended thee that I loathe even
the very frame thou hast formed
of me, that the stain of me would
blot thy sight." I lacerated my flesh
with a vow I wish to never have
been born, and a burst, not unlike
the light of sun spilled down
its throat, and it rose, disgorged
me like a coughed-up choke bone,
all-foured in obeisance I shook
myself off, clean, free of the
shackling sin which devours,
dividing even bone from marrow.
* This is an almost total rework of an older poem.
The Penitent
-
- Posts: 2691
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: The Penitent
I feel a bit drunk and enthralled by the imaginative language. It’s a great read. I love poems that immerse me in a different environment. It reminds me a bit of Beowulf.
I will read it again but my only suggestion for now is to remove this line:
as if just for me- of course for me.
I will read it again but my only suggestion for now is to remove this line:
as if just for me- of course for me.
-
- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: The Penitent
Hi Kenneth,
in the belly of the baleen whale(wail)
Dantesque - like a circle in The Inferno
If eliminating that line Bob mentioned, then consider this lineage:
down a chasm not beast,
and not earthen, but a portal
inhuman. Rush of air
as the lungs billowed,
the hammering heart, I trudged
the length of its tongue, sucked
Michael
in the belly of the baleen whale(wail)
Dantesque - like a circle in The Inferno
If eliminating that line Bob mentioned, then consider this lineage:
down a chasm not beast,
and not earthen, but a portal
inhuman. Rush of air
as the lungs billowed,
the hammering heart, I trudged
the length of its tongue, sucked
Michael
-
- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: The Penitent
Thanks Michael Baleen is actually a filter which whales use to gather plankton and small fish. They cruise with their mouths open
-
- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: The Penitent
Hi Kenneth,
Yes, I was aware it is a method of filtering for food.
The term is also used for whales that feed from that method.
There are currently 16 species of baleen whales.
Reading your poem, I imaged a whale, a baleen whale.
Maybe it was a baleen whale that swallowed Jonah.
Thus was Jonah filtered
Michael (MV)
Yes, I was aware it is a method of filtering for food.
The term is also used for whales that feed from that method.
There are currently 16 species of baleen whales.
Reading your poem, I imaged a whale, a baleen whale.
Maybe it was a baleen whale that swallowed Jonah.
Thus was Jonah filtered
Michael (MV)
Michael (MV) wrote: ↑22 Apr 2021, 18:48Hi Kenneth,
in the belly of the baleen whale(wail)
Dantesque - like a circle in The Inferno
If eliminating that line Bob mentioned, then consider this lineage:
down a chasm not beast,
and not earthen, but a portal
inhuman. Rush of air
as the lungs billowed,
the hammering heart, I trudged
the length of its tongue, sucked
Michael