The Penitent

[Kenneth2816]

Water from the blow hole fell
like a tepid rain and I knew then
the full measure of transgression.

The great unblinking eye, the
lateral roll, scissoring of its jaw
and I was drinked in with the sea

down a chasm not beast and not
earthen, but a portal inhuman
as if just for me- of course for me.

Rush of air as the lungs billowed,
the hammering heart,I trudged
the length of its tongue, sucked

gill-slit elder fish caught in the sieve
of baleen, knotted seaweed
to my hair in contrition.Three days-

though I could not tell the days-
I sat beneath the arch of rib,
the indelible darkness of Sheol

that hid even myself from myself,
and I prayed " how mightily have I
offended thee that I loathe even

the very frame thou hast formed
of me, that the stain of me would
blot thy sight." I lacerated my flesh

with a vow I wish to never have
been born, and a burst, not unlike
the light of sun spilled down

its throat, and it rose, disgorged
me like a coughed-up choke bone,
all-foured in obeisance I shook

myself off, clean, free of the
shackling sin which devours,
dividing even bone from marrow.


* This is an almost total rework of an older poem.

[BobBradshaw]

I feel a bit drunk and enthralled by the imaginative language. It’s a great read. I love poems that immerse me in a different environment. It reminds me a bit of Beowulf.

I will read it again but my only suggestion for now is to remove this line:

as if just for me- of course for me.

[Kenneth2816]

Thanks Bob

[Michael (MV)]

Hi Kenneth,

in the belly of the baleen whale(wail)

Dantesque - like a circle in The Inferno

If eliminating that line Bob mentioned, then consider this lineage:

down a chasm not beast,
and not earthen, but a portal
inhuman. Rush of air

as the lungs billowed,
the hammering heart, I trudged
the length of its tongue, sucked




Michael

[Kenneth2816]

Thanks Michael Baleen is actually a filter which whales use to gather plankton and small fish. They cruise with their mouths open

[Michael (MV)]

Hi Kenneth,

Yes, I was aware it is a method of filtering for food.

The term is also used for whales that feed from that method.

There are currently 16 species of baleen whales.

Reading your poem, I imaged a whale, a baleen whale.

Maybe it was a baleen whale that swallowed Jonah.


Thus was Jonah filtered



Michael (MV)

Hi Kenneth,

in the belly of the baleen whale(wail)

Dantesque - like a circle in The Inferno

If eliminating that line Bob mentioned, then consider this lineage:

down a chasm not beast,
and not earthen, but a portal
inhuman. Rush of air

as the lungs billowed,
the hammering heart, I trudged
the length of its tongue, sucked




Michael