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Deluge Of Reality

Posted: 03 May 2021, 21:37
by meenas17
A shower like rain
enliven the dawn.
Cool and pleasant
the garden appears
fresh and lively.

The droplets on the flowers
glitter like diamond,
the leaves shine
as emerald, emanating
a soft silky reflection.

As if in a trance
I stand all the while
holding to the gate without
opening, with the keys.
The paper boy

throws the papers
with a force the papers
strike me on the cheeks,
I shudder, take a step backward,
with that to the mundane.

I start hearing the car horns,
the street vendors calls,
and in motors the milkman
with his pail. Deluge of reality
devastates the illusion, I mumble.

Re: Deluge Of Reality

Posted: 04 May 2021, 03:34
by Kenneth2816
I think I get where you want to go but I think it reads flat '"shower like rain", "glitter like diamond" are example of what I mean. As written, I find it hard to be engaged.

Re: Deluge Of Reality

Posted: 04 May 2021, 09:44
by meenas17
Thanks, Ken.
try to make it engaging.