A shower like rain
enliven the dawn.
Cool and pleasant
the garden appears
fresh and lively.
The droplets on the flowers
glitter like diamond,
the leaves shine
as emerald, emanating
a soft silky reflection.
As if in a trance
I stand all the while
holding to the gate without
opening, with the keys.
The paper boy
throws the papers
with a force the papers
strike me on the cheeks,
I shudder, take a step backward,
with that to the mundane.
I start hearing the car horns,
the street vendors calls,
and in motors the milkman
with his pail. Deluge of reality
devastates the illusion, I mumble.
Deluge Of Reality
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Deluge Of Reality
I think I get where you want to go but I think it reads flat '"shower like rain", "glitter like diamond" are example of what I mean. As written, I find it hard to be engaged.