"messianic lift"   (formerly "messianic parable")

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

"messianic lift"   (formerly "messianic parable")

#1 Post by Michael (MV) » 30 May 2021, 20:59

 
Upon receiving a nom-nod for the upcoming IBPC, here is the current edit for possible forwarding ---
Also, a title change, because it occurred to me this was not narrative enough to be called parable.   8)  Michael (MV)


After a supper, way before the Last,
Christ walked a distance
onto the dark water,
cast his rod
and took a long leak into the sea.

Relieved, the savior of the moon
strolled along the waves,
like stepping over starlit stones,
back to engage in foreplay
on the beach,

where he shared intense love
with his sister of the sun
making some joyful noise together,
the o replacing the i in sin.

Then like reaching the ultimate ecstasy
without coming to a conclusion,
escaping the daily throes
and the exhaust of la petite mort.

In a flash - life lifted beyond push & pull
arriving in full relief from the flesh
to that larger part of the wind
that we all will no longer long for.

All for the warmth of an unending love affair -
passion tossed with compassion & faith.
Two as one making it out of this world.

The wind, sacked from the lungs;
but the breath, inspired never to expire,
unbound, like wings released, keeps on breathing



Earlier edition ---

After a supper, way before the Last,
Christ walked a distance
onto the dark water,
cast his rod
and took a long leak into the sea.

Relieved, the savior of the moon
strolled along the waves,
like stepping over starlit stones,
back to engage in foreplay
on the beach,

where he shared intense love
with his sister of the sun
making some joyful noise,
the o replacing the i in sin.

Two as one out of this world - for now,
just in a prolonged prelude,
like an extended night before Christmas,
until reaching the ultimate ecstasy,
the miracle-lift at dying - the saved finale -
without coming to a conclusion, escaping the throes
and the exhaust of la petite mort.

In a one-on-one embrace
with God taking our breath away,
arriving in full relief
to that part of the wind
that we all will no longer long for -
the movable feast - as promised it is done -
waiting for us all.

All for the warmth of an unending love affair -
caution & passion tossed with compassion & faith.
The wind be caught,
but never the breath from lungs that long to love





 


 

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: after Kenneth's "Jesus Peed"

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 30 May 2021, 21:26

Very nice!

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: after Kenneth's "Jesus Peed"

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 30 May 2021, 21:45

Ha.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: "messianic"

#4 Post by Michael (MV) » 31 May 2021, 21:07

 
Thanks, Bob, for reading & commenting.

Thanks, Kenneth, for visiting, and special Thanks for your poem, which then prompted mine - an ekphrastic experience


I have since found a title & have revised, hopefully evolving from the initial posted draft.

Hopefully more comments,

and available for IBPC if recommended & needed.


8)

Michael (MV)

 
 
 
 

meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: "messianic parable"

#5 Post by meenas17 » 03 Jun 2021, 15:02

It is perfect.
meenas17

Post Reply