Babe Ruth

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Babe Ruth

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 14 Sep 2021, 02:49

V2:
Babe Ruth


It was exasperating as hell:
while I slept with my bat for good luck,
the Babe was out every night
with some Carol Lombard look-alike,

tottering into the clubhouse the next morning
sporting the same clothes as when he left.

I played baseball the right way:
hitting to the right side,
sacrificing myself to move a runner over.
Hitting the bed by curfew.

A sacrifice bunt was as foreign
to the Babe as chastity.

I worked harder in the batting cage
than anyone. I had calluses
on my hands as thick as quarters.
Singles remained my forte

while homers for Ruth came
as naturally as pissing.

I hit the outfield grass early
to work on fielding.
Babe put as much time
in improving his fielding

as he did at confessionals
on St. Patrick's Day.

How could I possibly garner
the thunderous applause of Ruth,
out of shape, his legs heavy
like a prize fighter's in the late rounds,

fouling a single memento off
into the upper seats?

V1:
Babe Ruth


It was exasperating as hell:
while I slept with my bat for good luck,
the Babe was out every night
with some Carol Lombard look-alike,

the next morning tottering
into the clubhouse in the same clothes
he had worn when he left
the day before.

I played baseball the right way:
hitting to the right side,
sacrificing myself to move a runner over.
Hitting the bed by curfew.

A sacrifice bunt was as foreign
to the Babe as chastity.

I worked harder in the batting cage
than anyone. I had calluses
on my hands as thick as quarters.
Singles remained my forte

while homers for Ruth came
as naturally as pissing.

I hit the outfield grass early
to work on fielding.
Babe put as much time
in improving his fielding

as he did at confessionals
on St. Patrick's Day.

How could I possibly garner
the thunderous applause of Ruth,
out of shape, his legs heavy
like a prize fighter's in the late rounds,

fouling a single memento off
into the upper seats?

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Babe Ruth

#2 Post by FranktheFrank » 14 Sep 2021, 11:44

I have a basic understanding of the sport, you do a wonderful job of outlining the envy
of a less able player, his admiration yet tinged with grief that he can't reach the standard.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Babe Ruth

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 16 Sep 2021, 07:57

Thx for the insightful comments.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Babe Ruth

#4 Post by Michael (MV) » 25 Sep 2021, 05:28

Hi Bob,

I have admired & enjoyed this sports-related, baseball bio from the 1st inning.

The Babe indirectly hailed by a foiling teammate. Praising by roasting - the low brow similes are actually glorifying - hero worshipping. Strategic they slide in as doubles & arrive home as punchlines.

And this also references real locker room banter & humor, starting with that opening stanza which puts in that era, in that American pop culture of that time- sports stars & movie starlets.

Workshop-share:

It was exasperating as hell:
while I slept with my bat for good luck,
the Babe was out every night
with some Carol Lombard look-alike,

the next morning tottering into the clubhouse
sporting the same clothes as when he left.

^^ in keeping with the form of the other 2-liners dedicated to the Babe


😎

Michael (MV)


BobBradshaw wrote:
14 Sep 2021, 02:49
Babe Ruth


It was exasperating as hell:
while I slept with my bat for good luck,
the Babe was out every night
with some Carol Lombard look-alike,

the next morning tottering
into the clubhouse in the same clothes
he had worn when he left
the day before.

I played baseball the right way:
hitting to the right side,
sacrificing myself to move a runner over.
Hitting the bed by curfew.

A sacrifice bunt was as foreign
to the Babe as chastity.

I worked harder in the batting cage
than anyone. I had calluses
on my hands as thick as quarters.
Singles remained my forte

while homers for Ruth came
as naturally as pissing.

I hit the outfield grass early
to work on fielding.
Babe put as much time
in improving his fielding

as he did at confessionals
on St. Patrick's Day.

How could I possibly garner
the thunderous applause of Ruth,
out of shape, his legs heavy
like a prize fighter's in the late rounds,

fouling a single memento off
into the upper seats?

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Babe Ruth

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 25 Sep 2021, 06:10

Thanks, Michael. I like your suggestion

Post Reply