An Elephant in a China Shop

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

An Elephant in a China Shop

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 03 Oct 2021, 21:10

An Elephant in a China Shop


She gazes up from her counter and stares
as if she's just seen a Brontosaurus.
How did you squeeze through that door? her eyes ask.

"Yes, madam, can I help you?"

I stretch my trunk out to shake 'hands'
but she steps back as if a shotgun
is being pointed at her chest.

I point to a sign, "SALE -- CUPS
FOR A JAPANESE TEA CEREMONY."
"Ah," she sighs, her blood

returning to her cheeks.
"I can retrieve some for you. Just
don't move. I'll be right back."


My weight shifts slightly, and porcelain
rattles like a room of chimes.
"Don't move!" comes from somewhere.

She returns with a snooty voice.
"Sorry, I checked with my manager.
We're not allowed to sell to elephants."


Suddenly I'm a bull in a rodeo chute,
ready to bust something.
I look back towards the street. My sisters,

their faces pressed against the glass,
are raising their trunks,
to ask "Will you be out soon?"

I glare at the sales lady, then
glancing back to the front window
I raise my long hand, waving
my sisters to come on
in.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: An Elephant in a China Shop

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 05 Oct 2021, 00:05

 
Hi Bob,

the allegorical elephant

surreal with a real symbolism: discrimination leads to violent outburst, protest


instead of ivory being hunted(poached), ivory hunting china for its trunk


humorous, with dark foreshadowing:

"My weight shifts slightly, and porcelain
rattles like a room of chimes.

^^ then when the title multiplies, the the rest is left to the imagination

the stampede stomping out the chiming - china pounded to dust


workshop share:

"Sorry, the manager has just informed me.
We're not allowed to sell to elephants."


I see this adapted into a short video - maybe animated - maybe a SNL skit


8)

Michael (MV)

BobBradshaw wrote:
03 Oct 2021, 21:10
An Elephant in a China Shop


She gazes up from her counter and stares
as if she's just seen a Brontosaurus.
How did you squeeze through that door? her eyes ask.

"Yes, madam, can I help you?"

I stretch my trunk out to shake 'hands'
but she steps back as if a shotgun
is being pointed at her chest.

I point to a sign, "SALE -- CUPS
FOR A JAPANESE TEA CEREMONY."
"Ah," she sighs, her blood

returning to her cheeks.
"I can retrieve some for you. Just
don't move. I'll be right back."


My weight shifts slightly, and porcelain
rattles like a room of chimes.
"Don't move!" comes from somewhere.

She returns with a snooty voice.
"Sorry, I checked with my manager.
We're not allowed to sell to elephants."


Suddenly I'm a bull in a rodeo chute,
ready to bust something.
I look back towards the street. My sisters,

their faces pressed against the glass,
are raising their trunks,
to ask "Will you be out soon?"

I glare at the sales lady, then
glancing back to the front window
I raise my long hand, waving
my sisters to come on
in.
 
 
 
 

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: An Elephant in a China Shop

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 05 Oct 2021, 00:55

Thanks, Michael. Glad you enjoyed it. SNL works for me!

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: An Elephant in a China Shop

#4 Post by FranktheFrank » 08 Oct 2021, 17:43

This really is clever, Bob.

Maybe:
porcelain rattles the room
like a shimmy of chimes [leave out the and]

My sisters' [move to next stanza] faces press
against the glass [keep to present tense].

Fancy refusing to serve just because we leave enormous deposits.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: An Elephant in a China Shop

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 08 Oct 2021, 21:46

Thanks, Frank…I will get back to your suggestions.

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