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Non at the Bridge

Well done!

What form a this?

Reads like a pantoum, or variation of a pantoum.

The form here is in service to the anticipation of waiting.




Michael (MV)

In college, we had half a semester on forms. In practicality, none of them Interest me as a writer.

Poetry is complicated enough without the stricture.

1/ 3rd from last line:

should "agin" be again?


2/ 3rd stanza:

"weir" twice - find a different word for one.

^^ Might even consider

"Foam from the weir sprays onto her hair."

as

Foam and sunlight spray about her locks


✍

Michael (MV)

Thanks Michael
I appreciate these tips on things we miss so easily.

Agin is vernacular for again.

I will use thus:

The wind whipping water up from the weir.
Proud, standing tall in red-knitted cardigan.
Frothing white foam sprays onto her hair.
Non' stands sedate, top button undone.

Well, I like this. It's very sensuous and there's a palpable physical longing.

Either title works. It’s such a good, sweet piece. Lovely to read again.