Not A Silent Night

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Not A Silent Night

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 30 Nov 2021, 01:17

The mingled smells
Of dung and damp straw
Almost made her retch.

She was exhausted
From the trip and
Her back hurt bad.

It was all she could
Manage to brace the
Child as he suckled.

All night long, the
Clamor of men-
Goat herders, soothsayers,

Their strange accents
The obscene packages.
By the cold light

Of the star that has
Stalked her a fortnight,
She calls for a little wine

To take off the edge
Of her immodesty,
The inglorious spectacle

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Not A Silent Night

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 30 Nov 2021, 02:22

Wow, terrific, Ken. You're so good at recasting Biblical references in modern clothes.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Not A Silent Night

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 30 Nov 2021, 04:16

Thanks Bob. I can't say it's a popular genre of poetry, but I like to write it.

User avatar
Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Not A Silent Night

#4 Post by Billy » 01 Dec 2021, 08:26

Good poem with all the right touches. Nothing to change as far as I can see.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Not A Silent Night

#5 Post by Kenneth2816 » 01 Dec 2021, 17:45

Thanks Billy

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Not A Silent Night

#6 Post by Michael (MV) » 02 Jan 2022, 09:38

Hi Ken,

Workshop consider for the title:

Far from a Silent Night

Ken, would your poem here be available to represent the WB, if of course you don't already have a poem representing elsewhere

Thanks, Ken

Michael

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Not A Silent Night

#7 Post by Kenneth2816 » 03 Jan 2022, 03:07

Yes. Thanks

Post Reply