my father

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Billy
Posts: 1221
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

my father

#1 Post by Billy » 01 Dec 2021, 08:34

my father

i remember him
so pitiful
his heart would go crazy
and whole oak tables
would shake in his grip

and i wondered
what force
drove the small wheel
of this man's being
i wanted it all to stop

his very heart
to stop
because the shaking
wouldn't stop
until he stopped

because everything he held
shook fiercely
and i thought there was nothing
he held more tightly
than me

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1549
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: my father

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 01 Dec 2021, 17:52

I've written several poems about my father. What I like about this one is the indirect manner with which you reveal physical abuse.

At the same time, N, perhaps with the safety of years gone by, can still view the father as pitiful. I know my father was unwell, unstable and may not have fully understood the consequences of his actions. None of this negates the damage.

I love the last three lines which to me, appear both as terrorizing and as a wish for the father's affection. Great work.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2222
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: my father

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 01 Dec 2021, 22:12

Wow. This is one of your best....just kudos!

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Billy
Posts: 1221
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: my father

#4 Post by Billy » 02 Dec 2021, 00:45

Thanks Kenneth and Bob

Interesting, this is one of the first poems I ever wrote way back in 1994 or abouts. Then I didn't really seriously write again until 2010

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1701
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: my father

#5 Post by FranktheFrank » 03 Dec 2021, 15:48

Yes, I noticed, Billy.

Our father's can seem so powerful
and at the end we come to realise the love that they have for us.

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Billy
Posts: 1221
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: my father

#6 Post by Billy » 07 Dec 2021, 04:48

Thanks Frank

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