She stands outside her battered home
Grad fins stick up out of the ground
She is waiting for the bomb squad
A soldier walks towards her
Gun pointed at the ground
She moves towards him
Gushing greetings with her kisses
her tears wash down on his face
He accepts the bread and salt
With a smile, she is the mother
he left behind
Babushka
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- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
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Re: Babushka
I like this simple, straight forward piece, Ieuan. The subdued telling and understatement is handled well. I do wonder how the woman washes the soldier's face with her tears...Is it because he sees her and tears up? Or because she embraces him, leaving tears on his face? Other than that, no nits: a good, emotional poem.
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Babushka
Thanks Bob
Yes, as she greets him with a kiss her tears drop down on his face.
I thought to understate it.
Yes, as she greets him with a kiss her tears drop down on his face.
I thought to understate it.
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Re: Babushka
Did you tweak this? Now it’s clear … if you didn’t change it, I apologize. Anyway, a good piece.
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Babushka
Yes, tweaked.
Thanks Bob
Thanks Bob
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Re: Babushka
How about Frank's Babushka for a 3rd
Michael (MV)
Michael (MV)