Too Close to the Heart
When I was young,
I wanted words to be bombs.
They were duds sinking
in murk like lead weights.
I wanted words to fly
They only jumped
from ledges in my mind
in suicidal downpours.
I wanted words to dance.
They were wallflowers
tripping over one another
missing every beat.
I wanted words to sing
of love. They lodged
in my throat
exploded inside me
fragments beneath
the skin like bullets
too close to the heart
to risk removal.
Too Close to the Heart
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- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Too Close to the Heart
Some interesting imagery. Somehow for such dark images I don't feel the despair as much as I would expect. The uniqueness of images like those found in the first and last stanzas makes me want to rate this highly. I wonder...would tying the images to a specific event or person produce an even more impactful poem? The last 2 stanzas suggest turning the piece into a love poem. That might produce an amazing effect. Those last 4 lines are so cool. If this poem doesn't work out as well as your high standards require, then use those lines in another poem.
Re: Too Close to the Heart
Thanks Bob, good advice. This is a very old poem, one of the first I ever wrote. I just wanted to post it as is before I rewrite it. The poem was written probably in 1988.