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Coming of Age

Posted: 29 Jan 2023, 03:06
by FranktheFrank
Black locks bobbing
Oyster pearls flashing her needs
to a suitable boy

Re: Senryu - Of Age

Posted: 29 Jan 2023, 17:32
by Michael (MV)
Black locks bob
Oyster pearls flash -
time for a suitable boy

.^^ the senryu speaks of the "Of Age"

Re: Senryu - Of Age

Posted: 29 Jan 2023, 17:34
by Michael (MV)
black locks bob
whire pearls flash -
time for a suitable boy

.^^ the senryu speaks the "Of Age"; not needed in the title. Just "senryu."


Michael (MV)

Re: Senryu revised

Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 20:43
by BobBradshaw
Ieuan, I like this version very much.

Re: Senryu revised

Posted: 02 Feb 2023, 14:54
by FranktheFrank
I dipped my toes into the Senryu pool, Bob.
Thank you.

Strange that the spell-check does not accept the word Senryu (Senryƫ )

Re: Coming of Age

Posted: 02 Feb 2023, 14:56
by FranktheFrank
Thanks Michael,
I don't consider it a Senryu now. Just a short poem.
So I suppose I can title it.
I'm not really into Japanese style poems.