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Coming of Age
Posted: 29 Jan 2023, 03:06
by FranktheFrank
Black locks bobbing
Oyster pearls flashing her needs
to a suitable boy
Re: Senryu - Of Age
Posted: 29 Jan 2023, 17:32
by Michael (MV)
Black locks bob
Oyster pearls flash -
time for a suitable boy
.^^ the senryu speaks of the "Of Age"
Re: Senryu - Of Age
Posted: 29 Jan 2023, 17:34
by Michael (MV)
black locks bob
whire pearls flash -
time for a suitable boy
.^^ the senryu speaks the "Of Age"; not needed in the title. Just "senryu."
Michael (MV)
Re: Senryu revised
Posted: 31 Jan 2023, 20:43
by BobBradshaw
Ieuan, I like this version very much.
Re: Senryu revised
Posted: 02 Feb 2023, 14:54
by FranktheFrank
I dipped my toes into the Senryu pool, Bob.
Thank you.
Strange that the spell-check does not accept the word Senryu (Senryū )
Re: Coming of Age
Posted: 02 Feb 2023, 14:56
by FranktheFrank
Thanks Michael,
I don't consider it a Senryu now. Just a short poem.
So I suppose I can title it.
I'm not really into Japanese style poems.