Will

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Will

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 31 Jan 2023, 20:26

“…thou hadst small Latin and less Greek.”
—Ben Jonson about William Shakespeare


Will

Anne sailed into my summer
like a ship loaded
with spices, and me a merchant

hast been waiting years
for her to arrive.

Her blonde hair an ode
to sunlight, her breasts
as boldly pushed out

ahead of her
as a vessel’s figurehead,
I was awash in love's wake.

I tutored but 'twas Anne
who schooled me
in more than kisses.

Her sea wall breached,
the afternoons were flooded
with vows.

She flirted between pledges,
"Tutor, dost plan to teach me
Greek and Latin?”

Ah, Anne, I dub thy breasts
Greek and Latin. Much time
’twill be spent on lessons

with my favorite, Latin.
“And less," she jousted,
"on Greek?”

An exchange I shared
with Ben Jonson years later
who then invented

"the small Latin"--
which was the biggest lie
Ben ever told.

I wander. Anne
could not write;
I was in love and cared naught.

What I loved most about her
aside from her beauty
was her wit.

Oft it flashed
like the Avon when light bursts
through a muddy cloud,

the banks’ willows’ leaves
applauding in gusts,
as if at any moment

they might start shouting
in unison Bravo! Bravo!


Note: this is a revision of a poem posted here earlier.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1983
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Will

#2 Post by FranktheFrank » 04 Feb 2023, 15:36

"Anne sailed into my summer
like a ship loaded
with spices, and me a merchant

hast been waiting years
for her to arrive."
I like much.

How about:
Anne, dear Anne, sailed, a ship
completing her voyage filled with spices

And I, a haven awaiting her riches. ?

She flirted between pledges,
"Tutor, dost [ye] plan to teach me
Greek and Latin?”

I liked this even more:
" her breasts
as boldly pushed out

ahead of her
as a vessel’s figurehead,"


"An exchange I shared
with Ben Jonson years later
who then invented"
The epigram gives Ben's surname, maybe more personal approach to mention just his first name?

"I wander. Anne
could not write;
I was in love and cared naught."
I wonder if the word 'nowt' would impart a more authentic feel for the period.
It means the same thing, nothingness, but reflects a more northern touch? Owt and nowt are still used today
but only in the north of England. We don't use it in Wales, it is archaic.

Good, good. Hope this helps.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Will

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 05 Feb 2023, 08:37

Thanks, Ieuan. Appreciate it.

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