Rustin' Away

[Billy]

Rustin' Away

The road between the boulders
that seems to end but doesn't,

rumbles further on to a high tower
nobody ever sees except coyotes

and raccoons and a rare mountain
lion, and maybe, an elk or two

down for the winter. It's nothin'
to them or anybody else. I been

meanin' to climb it to see what
I could see, but it's old and rusty

and the wind is always blowin'.
You can hear it creakin' and see it

swayin' like the mast of a boat.
I've been there at night, listenin'

to the coyotes and the wind howl.
I build a small fire, follow the steel

girders to the dark sky roarin'
with millions of fires built by who-

knows, and I feel not alone,
just another creature at the foot

of a godforsaken nothin' in the
middle of nowhere, rustin' away.

[FranktheFrank]

s2 prefer: rarely seen except for red-wolf coyotes

s3 too many 'and's'?

Seemingly a contradiction, meaning to climb it (S5), and (s8) follow the girders to see the fires
or
my eyes follow the girder to the sky
lit by an alien hand

I don't feel alone,
just another creature

at the foot of a rusting structure
in the midst of a wilderness

[BobBradshaw]

I like how you draw the scene so clearly. And how the bleak environment reflects the inner landscape of the narrator. Well done. My only nit… the phrase “I feel not alone” feels awkward…especially when I consider how the rest of the poem just flows, with its conversational tone.

[Kenneth2816]

I've seen such a tower. I like how N compares himself as just another bewildered creature of the cosmos. Well done and engaging