Love in the Mountains of Wyoming - revised

[Billy]

Love in the Mountains of Wyoming - revised

Heat lightning like fireflies on steroids
dart in summer dark.
Mountains. Their presence felt

though unseen in the moonless sky.
Stars veiled by a swathe
of stratus clouds.

We sit on a boulder
the size of a Cadillac.
Flashes of light swirl around us.

"I've never seen this before," I say,
flashes reflected in her dark eyes.
The air is cool.

The boulder still warm.
We move closer, shoulder to shoulder,
heads resting together.

Our thoughts meet like old friends
after many years,
not having to say a word.



Love in the Mountains of Wyoming

Heat lightning like fireflies on steroids
dart in summer dark. Mountains.
Their presence felt though unseen
in the moonless sky. Stars veiled

by a swathe of stratus clouds. We
sit on a boulder the size of a Ford.
The flashes of light swirl around us.
"I've never seen this before," I say,

flashes reflected in her brown eyes.
The air is cool. The boulder still warm.
We move closer, shoulder to shoulder,
heads resting together. Our thoughts

meet like old friends after many years,
not having to say a word. Our names
no longer ours, we’ve become light
traveling the distance between souls.

[BobBradshaw]

Sweet poem. This is a good, romantic image:

Our thoughts

meet like old friends after many years,
not having to say a word.

[Billy]

I realize this is kind of romantic mush, OTT. Thanks for being too kind, Bob.

[FranktheFrank]

You said it Billy.
Sometimes we just have to write it as it comes.
Nothing wrong in that. Writing for oneself
is important to writers.

[BobBradshaw]

This works much better than you think. I don’t like the last 2 lines, but I like everything else, including the consistency of the images: landscape, emotions both seen and unseen( but felt).

[Billy]

Thanks,Bob, revised last 2 lines but don’t think it’s right yet.

[BobBradshaw]

I wouldn’t be so ambitious in your closing image. Stick to simple things…. sleeping bag, a scent of vanilla in her hair, silence a comforter whose warmth we share… keep it simple

[Billy]

Yes, you’re so right and I tried at first for something simple and gave up to quick and jumped in too soon with this same crap. I’ll give it some time.

[Kenneth2816]

You might throw in a bottle of whiskey.