Flames drip
from the tinfoil
teeth of the sun.
Sweat rolls
down my spine.
Power lines swell
with electrical juice.
Squirrels
walk the hot wire
seeking love.
I go to a bar
to get out of the heat.
Outside a vagrant
is tasered and cuffed.
Hot tar sticks
to the tires
of cars.
The woman
beside me
puts ice
on her tongue.
By sunset
she’s fanning
the back of my neck.
Paper Fan
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Paper Fan
Your closings are always good. The list of bad things happening could be trimmed for better impact. That fine closing makes the poem. So I would like to get to it quicker.
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Paper Fan
Good work in this Dale. Never saw it comimg.
Re: Paper Fan
Thanks Bob, there are a lot of random events that could be cut, I’m giving it some serious thought.BobBradshaw wrote: ↑09 Mar 2023, 21:41Your closings are always good. The list of bad things happening could be trimmed for better impact. That fine closing makes the poem. So I would like to get to it quicker.
Re: Paper Fan
Thanks Ken