Archiving Colonization

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
RamanathanSiva
Posts: 127
Joined: 28 Aug 2020, 23:11

Archiving Colonization

#1 Post by RamanathanSiva » 22 Apr 2023, 21:22

or' the one sided archive'.

The antique classic, 'Anamalais,' begged
to be picked up from our tea tray. What
I thought was a boring book turned out to be
an interesting journal entry.

On the verandah of the Kadamane Estate Bungalow
watching the sunrise as my family went trekking.
C. T. Congrieve way back in 1860, exploring
virgin territory. First the date, the time of the day
and the weather. The number of elephants and locals
their supplies, their tent, their baggage.What
could be cultivated, where ,when and how.

Their whim to bivouac wherever it took their fancy.

Corngrieve looked up to Carver Marsh. He named botanically
the flora and fauna ; all those species and variants. I could even
see into his head.

Their assessment. I even liked his English, a no nonsense
direct usage.Through the trees the sun had risen.

The English archived what they left behind to a dot;
deliberately did not document what they took from us -
valuables don’t vanish into thin air.










I or the "One Sided Archive,'

I never read prose, these novel kind,
only poetry, prose on poetry, reviews
and watch You-tube and podcasts, slam
or otherwise.

And in our Bungalow room this travel book,' Anamalais,'
an old bound brown tattered classic with an aching spine,
the kind you would like to caress, on the 'Anamalais
by C. R. T. Congrieve.'

How boring, I thought, but opened into a journal entry
exploring the interior of the Anamalais.
how they moved forward, the dates, what they planned,
what they thought, how they could oust the locals and cultivate.
It was no doubt a planned plunder.

The English were very clever, they took proper advantage
of the poor natives, used the elephants and the lower tribes
to carry luggage, coming uninvited, usurping our land
and executed their plan. From the very first it was well schemed,
and what was conquered was archived. This unpretentious book
by Congrieve and how he looked up to Carver Marsh.
I turned the pages, I saw words in between
a sunrise in the mountains, and read a couple of pages
before breakfast, how they ‘bivouacked’, what a word!

The English just came in uninvited,
took what they wanted.

They archived only what they left behind
and did not mention what they took from us.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Archiving Colonization

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 22 Apr 2023, 23:40

This is an enjoyable, solid poem. The 1st stanza isn’t needed. Start out with “In our Bungalow room…”. Although the poem “tells” a lot, instead of showing, the poem works well thanks to your craftsmanship. I like how you end with

They archived only what they left behind
and did not mention what they took from us.

RamanathanSiva
Posts: 127
Joined: 28 Aug 2020, 23:11

Re: Archiving Colonization

#3 Post by RamanathanSiva » 23 Apr 2023, 12:49

v2
or the one-sided archive.


I chanced upon this book on our tea tray.
Anamalais. An old brown, tattered classic
with aching spine the kind you would pick up
instantaneously to caress--by C. T. Congrieve.

Pretty boring, I thought as I opened into a journal entry
dated accurately with time and the weather, but it was not.
How they moved forward, what they thought, what they planned
how they could oust the locals and cultivate, which crop where,
interesting if you are on the other side of the fence.

They always planned their trips, the number of elephants,
local tribes, grading them as lower castes, to carry their supplies.
This unpretentious book by Congrieve, in a no nonsense language
how he looked up to Carver Marsh, I fell in love with his English.

The English had come uninvited. Looting our country
as if it was theirs for the asking. The English were clever,
they got the locals to quarrel with their landlords
and bivouacked wherever it took their fancy.

These foreigners were intelligent in their assessment.
They knew just how far they could go, how much to stretch.
Congreve had an open admiration for Carver Marsh.

They had planned to plunder. They archived what they left behind
but did not record what they had looted from us.

Albeit they also did some good. Built roads, schools, hospitals
and left their tongue behind.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Archiving Colonization

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 24 Apr 2023, 04:40

It works better. I’m not sure if the last stanza improves on the close. I’m leaning towards the previous stanza that ends on

but did not record what they had looted from us.

RamanathanSiva
Posts: 127
Joined: 28 Aug 2020, 23:11

Re: Archiving Colonization

#5 Post by RamanathanSiva » 24 Apr 2023, 06:17

Thank you, Bob. Having badmouthed a lot, I thought I would put in a good word. The whole draft is too wordy. I must learn economy of language.

User avatar
Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Archiving Colonization

#6 Post by Billy » 28 Apr 2023, 17:51

I agree with Bob. I do like stanzas 2, 3, and 4 of version 2, they are so clear.

Post Reply