Drives and Driveways

[FranktheFrank]

Driveways, like smoke-coloured
cars take us on grey journeys
into the unknown

Note. After being coached for years into the mysteries of Haiku and Senryu
I offer a three line poem in a look-alike Japanese format and although
said poem should be untitled I break the rules and give it a title. Like
a baby being born alive is given a name so my short poem has a title.
According to the two coaches, not vehicles but teachers, this is
an attempt at humour and therefore should be a designated as a Senryu.

If the reader cannot see the humour
I will explain later.

[BobBradshaw]

An explanation would help. I add titles to my haiku as well…

[FranktheFrank]

like smoke-coloured
cars take us on grey journeys

Driveways, like smoke-coloured
cars take us on grey journeys
into the unknown

Properly written the poem should be like this:

Digging a driveway[s] for are like smoke-coloured
car take us on grey journeys
into the unknown

My driveway took me two years by myself with my own efforts
no mechanical diggers just sweat I exceeded my budget many
times over hence the unknown journey. The humour is a play
on words. I admit now after explaining it, only I will get it.

The original Senryu used drives instead of driveways, even more obtuse.

Digging Driveways
like smoke-coloured cars
take us on unknown (costly miserable) grey journeys.

[BobBradshaw]

Kudos for sticking with your project….

[FranktheFrank]

I won't undertake such a project again, Bob. I only did it to please my wife.
And I am not a builder. I am a mechanical engineering worker by trade.
And undertaking such physical work at 70 almost wore me out.