Becoming a Sweetie
When my hair turned gray,
waitresses started to call me
“sweetie” and “dear”, not
the respect I thought a great
lion of letters should get,
or the arrogant ass most
people took that to mean.
But the lion was glad to take
a break from his kingly duties,
and the ass was thankful
for a better disguise.
☙
Becoming a Sweetie
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Michael (MV)
- Posts: 2157
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Becoming a Sweetie
Hi Caleb,
Although this is not a sonnet, it articulates with the artistic logic of an Italian sonnet. Here, the lines 1-7 read like a curtailed octave; and 8-11, like a curtailed sestet. The contrasting conjunction, "but," signals like a volta in a sonnet.
I like this sonnet-like poem: a good form to function.
Caleb,
Good to read & share workshop on your poem,
Michael (UM)
Although this is not a sonnet, it articulates with the artistic logic of an Italian sonnet. Here, the lines 1-7 read like a curtailed octave; and 8-11, like a curtailed sestet. The contrasting conjunction, "but," signals like a volta in a sonnet.
I like this sonnet-like poem: a good form to function.
Caleb,
Good to read & share workshop on your poem,
Michael (UM)
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CalebMurdock
- Posts: 199
- Joined: 10 Dec 2023, 14:59
Re: Becoming a Sweetie
Thank you so much for your insight, Michael.
Over the years I have read perhaps a half-dozen letters to advice columnists from older people who don't like being called "sweetie" and "dear" by waitresses, and then I realized it was happening to me.
I think the other guys have decided they don't want me here, which is why everyone is ignoring my poems. That's too bad, as the forum needs new blood, and, especially, more mature participants. But if they are going to abandon the forum rather than accept me, perhaps I should leave. I just wanted to see how far they would take it, and it seems they are willing to take it very far. I now see them as a group of old babies.
Over the years I have read perhaps a half-dozen letters to advice columnists from older people who don't like being called "sweetie" and "dear" by waitresses, and then I realized it was happening to me.
I think the other guys have decided they don't want me here, which is why everyone is ignoring my poems. That's too bad, as the forum needs new blood, and, especially, more mature participants. But if they are going to abandon the forum rather than accept me, perhaps I should leave. I just wanted to see how far they would take it, and it seems they are willing to take it very far. I now see them as a group of old babies.
Re: Becoming a Sweetie
Sorry you feel that way. First this is not my main poetry workshop. I used to come here more but it’s been awhile. You sure make a lot of assumptions and judgments. And usually people here don’t post 5 or six poems in a row. I just came here after posting poems in a site where you post a poem a day for 7 days. I also post in another workshop. There are not enough poets here consistently. And I’m not inclined to try and save this site. So good luck. You got what you wanted, to be rejected. Self prophesying. Good luck.
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CalebMurdock
- Posts: 199
- Joined: 10 Dec 2023, 14:59
Re: Becoming a Sweetie
No, Billy. I posted those poems more than a day apart. And there were two before that that were ignored. It's not my imagination that people here have an attitude and are trying to push me off the forum. Bob started it when I made a general comment that perhaps I shouldn't post gay-themed poems given that I'm the only gay poet, and he decided to take it personally, which it wasn't meant to be. Then he announced that he wouldn't critique my poems any more, and would ignore any critiques that I made of his poems. His behavior was very childish. Shortly after that, everyone started to ignore my poems.
So you have decided to be a clique of like-minded poets with chips on your shoulders. That's your right. But it is immature behavior.
To be a good poet, a person has to have an ego. I have an ego. You have an ego. Bob has an ego. You will forgive your own egos, but you won't forgive other people's egos. Writing poetry isn't a competition, or at least it shouldn't be.
I didn't want to be pushed off this forum, and I'm not the one who made it happen. You, Bob and presumably Frank are the ones. If you can't accept new people, then it seems that this forum will never have more than three or four jealous members. And now that you've made it clear that you don't care about the forum, I'm sure that makes Michael feel great.
So you have decided to be a clique of like-minded poets with chips on your shoulders. That's your right. But it is immature behavior.
To be a good poet, a person has to have an ego. I have an ego. You have an ego. Bob has an ego. You will forgive your own egos, but you won't forgive other people's egos. Writing poetry isn't a competition, or at least it shouldn't be.
I didn't want to be pushed off this forum, and I'm not the one who made it happen. You, Bob and presumably Frank are the ones. If you can't accept new people, then it seems that this forum will never have more than three or four jealous members. And now that you've made it clear that you don't care about the forum, I'm sure that makes Michael feel great.