Upcoming May IBPC 2016:

[Michael (MV)]

 
any newcomers or returnees this month, Welcome!

and here is a home link to the IBPC rules: http://ibpc.webdelsol.com/rules


Poems recommended to represent the Block are posted here in this thread, along with all IBPC required info.

When the 1-3 are decided upon, and permission granted by each author of the selected poems,

along with the all info needed by each author:


1/Your name

2/e-mail address

3/statement that the poem is your original

4/and unpublished work

5/and that you are not representing in the current IBPC

6/and the poem as you would like it forwarded to the finals.

^^ All of the above is the usual needed info as part of the process.


I will then forward the 1-3 to the IBPC finals.


Please reply - accept or decline - in this thread.

Thanks,

Michael (MV)
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 

[SivaRamanathan]

'Mad Siva' is my original poem;I am not representing any other board this May with my poem.My mail id is sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com



Mad Siva

My earliest poems ran like the boys,
thinking like them
not knowing I wrote like them.
I took pride when my friends called me Mad Siva.

I gave you four tablespoons of love,
a premarital baby
oh how well our well overflows,
plant them six seven inches apart
underneath my favourite pissing spot.
Even the soulless iron could thrust its nose
to the corners and savour.

A Shakespearean critic
called me cross gendered
prompting to reread my poems.

Yes it was all there
the voice, the assumed masculinity.

I tried to invent another Siva
all my words went limp.

[SivaRamanathan]

I nominate your edited version of Frank's 'The Potato Eaters',and Michael's poem.

[FranktheFrank]

1/Name - Ieuan ap Hywel

2/e-mail address - IeuanapHywel@aol.com

3/The poem: 'Potato Eaters' is my original work

4/it is unpublished

5/I am not representing in the current IBPC

6/poem is as follows:

The Potato Eaters

Five figures, two men and three females from three generations.
Of the three females a girl sits, her back towards the artist.
Two small windows display the darkness of evening.

Eight rafters run from front to back. The ouders sit on high-backed
chairs with raffia woven seats. Oma schenkt koffie in, Opa holds
out his cup over a table worn rough at the edges.

A lamp shines on vapour rising from a bowl of aardappelen.
They scoop the meal from a common bowl towards them
with reversed spoons. Mevrouw stares past her man,

an arbeider[/i,] wearing a cap; wide eyed she wonders why.
Their hands presented as lumpy, an accent on the joints,
faces and noses scribed with a bulbous characterisation.

Two luxuries are evident: light and coffee. Such poverty:
no piano, no colour, no caged bird to sing, no literature to
enthral, no Bible to comfort, no paintings on the wall.

The artist has rendered to the core, he has left out: dried herbs and
ham hocks hanging from the ceiling. The family pose awkwardly for
their pastor. He capture their rough-spun clothes. We presume

their linen clean, washed smelling of lye. In his latter days he paints
with primary colours and abandon, with whirls and daring strokes
before the entrance of those crows that cross his wheatfield sky.

Ieuan ap Hywel 4 May 2016
This is my final version.

[Michael (MV)]

Thanks Siva

Please also add here include a statement that this poem Mad Siva is unpublished.

ASAP Please

Thanks, Siva

Michael (MV)

'Mad Siva' is my original poem;I am not representing any other board this May with my poem.My mail id is sivakamivelliangiri@gmail.com



Mad Siva

My earliest poems ran like the boys,
thinking like them
not knowing I wrote like them.
I took pride when my friends called me Mad Siva.

I gave you four tablespoons of love,
a premarital baby
oh how well our well overflows,
plant them six seven inches apart
underneath my favourite pissing spot.
Even the soulless iron could thrust its nose
to the corners and savour.

A Shakespearean critic
called me cross gendered
prompting to reread my poems.

Yes it was all there
the voice, the assumed masculinity.

I tried to invent another Siva
all my words went limp.

[Michael (MV)]

Thanks, Frank, and Thanks for providing all the needed info.

In the future I recommend that you pose workshop questions & concerns prior, while over n the workshop thread.

I'll share my suggestions, grammar checks(subject to verb agreement), spelling, etc.. I don't think that the translations are especially necessary.

- then, Frank, post in this thread your final that you would like to be forwarded. Please indicate that it is your final version, the one you would like forwarded.

ASAP Please. Thanks, Frank. -- Michael (MV)


after Van Gogh's The Potato Eaters (1885)

Five family members: two men and three females from three generations.
The youngest, a girl, sits, with her back to the artist. (or, instead of "artist," with her back to the viewer) ("Of the three females" - redundant- already included in the 1st line)
Two small windows display the darkness of evening.

Eight rafters run from front to back. The ouders sit on high-backed
chairs with raffia woven seats. Oma schenkt koffie in, Opa holds
out his cup over a table worn rough at the edges.

A lamp shines on vapour rising from a bowl of aardappelen.
With reversed spoons, they scoop the meal
from a common bowl. Mevrouw stares past her man, an arbeider

wearing a cap; wide-eyed she wonders about the painter's interest.
Their hands presented as lumpy, an accent on the joints,
faces and noses scribed with a bulbous characterization.

Two luxuries are evident: light and coffee. Such poverty:
no piano, no colour, no caged bird to sing, no literature to
enthrall, no Bible to comfort, no paintings on the wall.

The artist has rendered to the core, omitting dried herbs and
ham hocks hanging from the ceiling. The family poses awkwardly for
their pastor. He conveys the rough-spun of their clothes. We presume

their linen washed, smelling of lye. In his latter days, he paints
with primaries and abandon, with whirls and daring strokes
before the entrance of those crows that cross his wheatfield sky.

---------------------------------------------------------

Ieuan ap Hywel 3 May 2016

Please note italics for foreign words, in this case Dutch and yes it is based on the painting by Vincent van Gogh.
Michael, maybe you can help, is L2 okay, her back towards the artist or her back to the artists.

and S4 L1. is it clear she wonders why the artists takes an interest or is it confusing and the reader might wonder why her man is wearing a cap? I would appreciate your input.

also, 'Oma schenkt koffie in' means: Grandmother pours coffee, should I add a translation line.
Aardappelen means potatoes, earth-apples.
Arbeider means worker, of the soil - agricultural worker.
ouders means parents - olders - elders

I feel the reader should be able to guess the meaning without translation, Arbeid makt vrie is well know from the German camps of WW2, work frees.

a great honour.
Thank you both.

1/Your name - Ieuan ap Hywel

2/e-mail address - IeuanapHywel@aol.com

3/The poem: Potato Eaters is my original work

4/it is unpublished

5/I am not representing in the current IBPC

6/poem is as follows:

The Potato Eaters

Five figures, two men and three females from three generations.
Of the three females a girl sits, her back towards the artist.
Two small windows display the darkness of evening.

Eight rafters run from front to back. The ouders sit on high-backed
chairs with raffia woven seats. Oma schenkt koffie in, Opa holds
out his cup over a table worn rough at the edges.

A lamp shines on vapour rising from a bowl of aardappelen.
They scoop the meal from a common bowl towards them
with reversed spoons. Mevrouw stares past her man,

an arbeider wearing a cap; wide eyed she wonders, suspicious of the interest
Their hands presented as lumpy, an accent on the joints,
faces and noses scribed with a bulbous characterisation.

Two luxuries are evident: light and coffee. Such poverty:
no piano, no colour, no caged bird to sing, no literature to
enthral, no Bible to comfort, no paintings on the wall.

The artist has rendered to the core, he has left out: dried herbs and
ham hocks hanging from the ceiling. The family pose awkwardly for
their pastor. He capture their rough-spun clothes. We presume

their linen clean, washed smelling of lye. In his latter days he paints
with primary colours and abandon, with whirls and daring strokes
before the entrance of those crows that cross his wheatfield sky.

Ieuan ap Hywel 3 May 2016

Please note italics for foreign words, in this case Dutch and yes it is based on the painting by Vincent van Gogh.
Michael, maybe you can help, is L2 okay, her back towards the artist or her back to the artists.

and S4 L1. is it clear she wonders why the artists takes an interest or is it confusing and the reader might wonder why her man is wearing a cap? I would appreciate your input.

also, 'Oma schenkt koffie in' means: Grandmother pours coffee, should I add a translation line.
Aardappelen means potatoes, earth-apples.
Arbeider means worker, of the soil - agricultural worker.
ouders means parents - olders - elders

I feel the reader should be able to guess the meaning without translation, Arbeid makt vrie is well know from the German camps of WW2, work frees.

Thank you for suggesting 'rendered' I am pleased with that.

[FranktheFrank]

Michael, I just noticed you place the date, I really like that and will add to my final version, (1885), it sets the date for the reader and shows it not just a modern narrative.

Unless there is a poetry convention that ekphrastics must have an introduction that points to the actual reference I would prefer that the Van Gogh referenc ebe elf tout, I think he is sufficiently well known from 1. The Potato Eaters and 2, Wheatfield Sky.

I will repost in the thread.
Thanks again.

[FranktheFrank]

Siva
My belated apologies, I just noticed you had nominated
the Potato Eaters way back in May. I missed it at the time, so sorry,
please forgive me?

regards