Hey, Skinny!

[SOriz211]

Hey, Skinny!

You are
the most powerful
oven on earth

you live in Paris
―almost
7 thousand Km
away

and yet
you keep me
heated

[Michael (MV)]

 
Hi l-p,

well the sun does appear to be a slender disc - wafer-like - yet humongous - giving warm to everyone


"and yet
you cook me"

^^ perhaps more sensual & sensuous would be

and yet you keep
me in heat

or

and yet you keep
us in heat




the moon & the sun
together as one
It is done


Michael (MV)

 

 

 
 
 

 
 

[SOriz211]

Michael, I originally had

and yet
you heat me

now I wonder if this would be better

and yet
you keep me
heated

sergio

[BobBradshaw]

good, fun poem....I like the brevity of this...it strengthens the humor

[Michael (MV)]

 
and yet you keep me
feeling the heat

or

and yet you keep us
feeling the heat





Michael (MV)   I am her  strong torch  song

Michael, I originally had

and yet
you heat me

now I wonder if this would be better

and yet
you keep me
heated

sergio