Aurora Borealis

[FranktheFrank]

It is a frosty day here in het Noorden.
I sit in my jim-jams and meditate on
the accomplishments of the perfect woman.

I struggle to place my thoughts
down on electronic paper,
a poem for the day.

This is the poem, breathed
on the day, I post
a small event, but new.

I watch
from the dining room as she hangs
out clothes on a frost-bitten line.
The wasmachine starts its cycle,
a dry spin whine, she spots me
through the windows and waves.

The koffiezetapparaat gurgles
the broodrooster pops
toast. Honey, and eggs lie ready
on the table.

The kitchen door bursts open
with a gust of frozen air, she enters,
with the energy of the aurora borealis,
fills the room, radiating joy.

I am the recipient of her need
to emulate Moeder.

[BobBradshaw]

This is a strong, solid poem. I like the inventive, unique take on 'the muse'. She has never been seen like this before, to my recollection....I like how you interweave the creation of the poem, and the woman hanging the clothes...the muse. What needs work is the closing stanza...it didn't deliver any punch for me. I like also, by the way, how you mix in phrases like 'het Noorden; to give us some color....I like this a lot....best

[Bernie01]

F---

excellent. original and not predictable.

i especially like the dual pictures of domesticity that emerge---the silent writer striving for a new composition and the partner busy in the cold hanging clothes.


suddenly they come together, a door flung open and a wild burst of energy enters the poem.

surprise and yet a pleasing close.


my appreciation, my participation in the poem was not diminished for a failure to understand
Het Noorden and Moeder.


bernie

[FranktheFrank]

Thank you Bob and Bernie,
Het Noorden = the North
Moeder = Mother.

[meenas17]

A drama in real life.

The kitchen door bursts open
with a gust of frozen air, she enters
like the aurora borealis,
her energy radiating joy.

The day to day events, washing, hanging clothes, are common, receive a speciality in this poem.
Very well done, Frank.

I like it

[FranktheFrank]

Thank you Meena, you are too kind.

[Kenneth2816]

Frank, there arw just enough exotic words and olde world phrasing to compliment the poem
It's quite a lovely combination.

[FranktheFrank]

Thanks Kenneth
I like to introduce a few Dutch words to poems
that are rooted in that fair land.
Glad you enjoyed.

[capricorn]

Hi Frank,

A wonderful poem. I love the energy and imagery here

The kitchen door bursts open
with a gust of frozen air, she enters
the energy of an aurora borealis,
filling the room, radiating joy.

I sense the closeness between them - she waves at him through the window.

I also like the spattering of Dutch words - adds interest.

Enjoyed!
Eira

[FranktheFrank]

Thank you Eira.

[Cosmo888]

it was no longer a front page murder case, the city editor thought a feature writer might find an angle.

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[FrankDire]

These spammers are so annoying.
Am I getting tetchy in my old age?

[RWCJames]

FranktheFrank - An appealing, and, yes, very loving character study. I'm not sure about:

"the accomplishments of the perfect woman."

Seems more objective than the rest, and doesn't tie us in with the specific woman at hand, and that you're referring to the condition, or attributes, of women in general also doesn't seem to cohere with what seems to be your main intent - praising your partner/wife. The rest is evocative and affecting - RC

[BobBradshaw]

Terrific poem... deserving of an IBPC nod... you have 2 or 3 deserving pieces... splendid work this month

[FrankDire]

Extremely good of you to say so Bob.

In return I would say that since you have become
a member of this forum that the forum has run
much better, with improved good humour
and your encouragement has added to the spirit
of mutual learning and the workshopping has been superb.

You and Bernie, together with Michael have made
this forum a winner and that is what it is today.

And not forgetting the efforts of new members especially
Ken, his involvement has been noticeable.

Let's all do our best to keep it that way.
Thank you all.

[FranktheFrank]

Thank you James.

[cecile23]

Have you tried to add more expressive means in this piece? I think, it would be appropriate considering the mood... Although I like how homy this poem sounds.

[FranktheFrank]

Hi Cecile, I feel wringing the emotion would
detract from the narrative.

Thanks for commenting