Moved

[FranktheFrank]

move dpoem

[BobBradshaw]

Gorgeous poem...all the stanzas are good, but my favorite is the Amey stanza

[Bernie01]

F---


marvelous.

vivid story telling, fast pace yet no feeling of rush, original and yet clear progression from one story point to a second.

a triumph.

you've worked on this for some time, i think, and with great profit.


bernie


my IPC vote.

[FranktheFrank]

Thanks guys,
yes, about a month Bernie.

I find it difficult to stop tinkering,
I suppose I might get better in time.

It's just getting the exact right words.

[FranktheFrank]

I have tinkered my best
seems to have grown
wonder if it needs to be put into tercets.

[RWCJames]

in a Dickensian gloom,
an autumn drizzle dampens
the concourse entrance.

You got me on that first reference to Dickens.

The apparent nonchalant attitude and delivery, for me, holds my attention - not put off by any unnecessary descriptions etc.

‘The train on platform four to Tilbury
will leave at 3:55 . . .’
her metallic voice echoes in the rafters.

Nice alliteration here - and particularly taken by the final line - can hear her voice distinctly - RWC