Eugenics (revision)

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IndianaDP
Posts: 163
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Eugenics (revision)

#1 Post by IndianaDP » 14 Oct 2018, 22:33

Revision-
She is a beautiful woman
who likes Chinese silk
and French beaded bags,

has a Masters from Wellesley
in European Lit.

In her library
the spines of her books
are pristine, the pages
carefully turned as they’re read
and marginal notes
she writes in light pencil.

She aspires to kindness,
helps out the cook
pairing entrees with wine,
the gardener pruning
red roses.

She listens, forgives
while her husband defends
his transgressions,

tells all her friends
she admires his linage
and how he expands
his father’s vast fortune,

a business she pretends
to not understand,
the investments
kept on the move,
hidden by attorneys
in foreign accounts,
called contributions,
charitable donations,

money that goes to their son,
gets him into Harvard
where his father has told him
to sow his wild oats
with the girls beanth him,
then marry a woman
who is just like
his mother.

Original-
She is a beautiful woman
who likes printed silk
and fine beaded bags,

has a Masters from Wellesley
in American Lit.

The books in her library
have handwritten marginal notes,
each carefully read
without damage
to their spines.

She aspires to kindness,
helps out the cook
pairing entrees with wine.

She listens, forgives
while her husband defends
his transgressions,

tells all her friends
she admires his linage
and how he expands
his father’s vast fortune,

a business
she doesn’t understand,
investments kept on the move,
hidden by attorneys
in foreign accounts,
called contributions,
charitable donations,

money that goes to his son,
gets him in Harvard
where he’ll sow his wild oats,
then marry a woman
who is just like
his mother.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1117
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Eugenics

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 14 Oct 2018, 22:52

I'm not sure "eugenics" is really the word you're looking for here. Historically, in the US it was about forced sterilization of "undesirables.
That is how most will relate to the term.

I'll come back later to crit

IndianaDP
Posts: 163
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: Eugenics

#3 Post by IndianaDP » 14 Oct 2018, 23:10

As I understand it it’s more the idea of selective breading, in the case of this poem upper class breading upper class. I do understand many see the term as you mention, hmm, let’s see how others view it.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1335
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Eugenics

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 15 Oct 2018, 02:17

Good one....my favorite lines, which tell so much about the character, are:

The books in her library
have handwritten marginal notes,
each carefully read
without damage
to their spines.

IndianaDP
Posts: 163
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: Eugenics (revision)

#5 Post by IndianaDP » 15 Oct 2018, 23:14

I have made revisions, still thinking about the title, considering ‘Selective Breading’

User avatar
Billy
Posts: 937
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Eugenics (revision)

#6 Post by Billy » 16 Oct 2018, 03:19

I like the original better. I think the title muddies the water. A better title would make it done in the original version.

IndianaDP
Posts: 163
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: Eugenics (revision)

#7 Post by IndianaDP » 19 Oct 2018, 18:04

Thanks Billy, the final will probably be a mix of the two versions, still working on a title.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1117
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Eugenics (revision)

#8 Post by Kenneth2816 » 26 Oct 2018, 16:17

Dale. Like to nom this...

IndianaDP
Posts: 163
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: Eugenics (revision)

#9 Post by IndianaDP » 26 Oct 2018, 18:17

Thanks Ken, that would be great, I am changing the title to ‘Selective Breading.’

I have been waiting for a link for new nons.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1117
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Eugenics (revision)

#10 Post by Kenneth2816 » 27 Oct 2018, 03:38

Well be sure to correct the typo on "breeding" 🎈

IndianaDP
Posts: 163
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: Eugenics (revision)

#11 Post by IndianaDP » 27 Oct 2018, 06:29

Ha ha, will do.

I’m sure I’ll be nominating one of yours when the link is posted, let me know if you have a preference.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1117
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Eugenics (revision)

#12 Post by Kenneth2816 » 27 Oct 2018, 11:50

Thanks. Nothing I have posted this month I'm interested in

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