Yanar Dag

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Yanar Dag

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 12 Sep 2019, 22:50

If holiness were a destination,
The faithful would grow wings.

In Baku, there is an altar
to Ahura Mazda, where fire

licks the ground like
a lover's tongue parts lips.

We leave an offering;
wine made from honey,

and a gourd of goat curd.
From the time of Alexander

they have returned the dead
to the mouth of the mountain.

Zarathustra divides the righteous,
separating joint from marrow,

I want to make a hollow
in your thigh and live there.

A hundred and one names for God.
Tonight, we speak them all.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Yanar Dag

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 15 Sep 2019, 03:15

Bump

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Yanar Dag

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 15 Sep 2019, 04:20

Terrific piece. The images are imaginative and the closing just right.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Yanar Dag

#4 Post by Kenneth2816 » 15 Sep 2019, 06:49

Been working on it a few weeks. I'm out of ideas

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Yanar Dag

#5 Post by Kenneth2816 » 15 Sep 2019, 06:50

Kenneth2816 wrote:
15 Sep 2019, 06:49
Been working on it a few weeks. I'm out of ideas
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BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Yanar Dag

#6 Post by BobBradshaw » 16 Sep 2019, 06:43

You done good! You’re on a roll...more than one poem deserving of a nom, and it’s still early ... keep up the stellar work

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Yanar Dag

#7 Post by Kenneth2816 » 16 Sep 2019, 06:50

Thank you

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1168
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Yanar Dag

#8 Post by SivaRamanathan » 16 Sep 2019, 21:55

I think the poem is finished.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Yanar Dag

#9 Post by Kenneth2816 » 16 Sep 2019, 23:58

Thanks Siva

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