New Year’s Eve

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
User avatar
Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

New Year’s Eve

#1 Post by Billy » 06 Oct 2019, 03:29

New Year's Eve

Mom, everyone says you look
real good. They say it's your bone
structure. Shirley poofed

your hair like Angie Dickinson.
Your arthritic fingers curl
like the claws on Grandma's

parakeet that morning we found
Petey lying at the bottom of the cage.
Mr. Meyers placed all the rings

on your fingers, even the one
with the fake diamonds set
around the crystal of a tiny clock.

You used to love showing it off.
It's a shock to look at you, lying there,
thinking any minute you’ll get up

like you did at the New Year’s Eve dance.
The MC announced they'd give away
a Tommy Dorsey album to the prettiest

girl there. You didn’t wait, walked
right on stage, said, "Here I am." He
looked at you and handed over the prize.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: New Year’s Eve

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 06 Oct 2019, 06:03

Gorgeous poem, Billy....love the parrot image, everything actually, including that fab ending...no crits

User avatar
Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: New Year’s Eve

#3 Post by Billy » 17 Oct 2019, 19:01

Thanks Bob

judyt547
Posts: 131
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
Location: middle of the woods
Contact:

Re: New Year’s Eve

#4 Post by judyt547 » 19 Oct 2019, 19:09

yep, love the neat reaization, that 'waittt a minnit..." feeling, and the end...

meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: New Year’s Eve

#5 Post by meenas17 » 19 Oct 2019, 19:26

Lovely! Billy.
meenas17

User avatar
Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: New Year’s Eve

#6 Post by Billy » 20 Oct 2019, 19:17

Thanks Judy, Mensa and the poetry gods.

Post Reply