Body In The River

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Body In The River

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 29 Nov 2020, 18:55

We all wear fluorescent green vests,
position ourselves 8 feet abreast.

The undergrowth is knee high and we swing sticks as we walk, calling his name.

The search leader has a walkie-talkie.
She calls no smoking.It is quiet.

It's three days since the boy's
been gone, thirteen, good looking.

This morning, the dogs got a hit
by the river bank. His clothes.

It is hard not to admire
the well groomed hair. The way

the klieg lights play off the
toad -belly white of his skin.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Body In The River

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 29 Nov 2020, 23:48

A strong objective poem....love these lines best

His clothes.

It is hard not to admire
the well groomed hair.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Body In The River

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 02 Dec 2020, 09:45

Thanks Bob

RamanathanSiva
Posts: 127
Joined: 28 Aug 2020, 23:11

Re: Body In The River

#4 Post by RamanathanSiva » 02 Dec 2020, 18:16

'Klieg' is a new word for me.

The undergrowth is knee-high and we swing sticks as we walk, calling his name.--this long line seems to walk in the poem.

I also like the abrupt ending.

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Body In The River

#5 Post by Billy » 03 Dec 2020, 20:51

Wow, this is so good.
Should second stanza be a couplet, too.

I nom this poem.

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Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Body In The River

#6 Post by Billy » 03 Dec 2020, 20:51

I guess it might be too late.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Body In The River

#7 Post by Kenneth2816 » 05 Dec 2020, 05:15

Thank you Billy

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