My Bearded Collie
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- Posts: 2691
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
My Bearded Collie
My Bearded Collie
I brush my bearded collie’s fur
the way I brushed my daughter’s
flowing hair, tenderly.
Perhaps Sheri is too like me. Does she feel
she's never lived up to her potential,
years lost like unpublished poetry?
My sheepdog has never seen a lamb
though I imagine her
chasing after them in the park,
her deep barking at shadows
the result of her shaggy fur
obscuring her eyes.
She’s most content lying in grass,
gazing up for hours, as if admiring
the sky’s endless sheared wool.
Her large eyes studying me
remind me of a long-haired
professor of mine,
a shy young man reciting Keats
to the winsome female students
gathered up front at his classes.
Or like the overweight poet laureate
of our college, who ambled along
like a bear who’s entered
an abandoned Klondike cabin,
following its instincts
the way miners follow a vein of gold
or a poet follows a line of verse.
I think of Coleridge conjuring up words
as he strays off path.
Careful not to block William’s straighter path,
he talks, talks, talks, throwing ideas
at William the way a sheepdog
shaking after a bath
flings off beads of radiant water.
Sheri gazes at me, about to interrupt
but notices me lost
in wool gathering, Kubla Khan on my lap
as I invest another evening,
eyes half closed, revising a poem.
Where is my Mariner
after decades of work?
How do I justify my last 30 years?
Maybe they're just bungled lines
searching for a perfect close.
I have no promises to keep tonight
and yawn, stroking Sheri’s head.
Drowsy, she settles by the fireplace
and its panting flames.
I watch as her left paw twitches,
nuzzled by a lamb. Behind a veil
of fur, she counts sheep.
I brush my bearded collie’s fur
the way I brushed my daughter’s
flowing hair, tenderly.
Perhaps Sheri is too like me. Does she feel
she's never lived up to her potential,
years lost like unpublished poetry?
My sheepdog has never seen a lamb
though I imagine her
chasing after them in the park,
her deep barking at shadows
the result of her shaggy fur
obscuring her eyes.
She’s most content lying in grass,
gazing up for hours, as if admiring
the sky’s endless sheared wool.
Her large eyes studying me
remind me of a long-haired
professor of mine,
a shy young man reciting Keats
to the winsome female students
gathered up front at his classes.
Or like the overweight poet laureate
of our college, who ambled along
like a bear who’s entered
an abandoned Klondike cabin,
following its instincts
the way miners follow a vein of gold
or a poet follows a line of verse.
I think of Coleridge conjuring up words
as he strays off path.
Careful not to block William’s straighter path,
he talks, talks, talks, throwing ideas
at William the way a sheepdog
shaking after a bath
flings off beads of radiant water.
Sheri gazes at me, about to interrupt
but notices me lost
in wool gathering, Kubla Khan on my lap
as I invest another evening,
eyes half closed, revising a poem.
Where is my Mariner
after decades of work?
How do I justify my last 30 years?
Maybe they're just bungled lines
searching for a perfect close.
I have no promises to keep tonight
and yawn, stroking Sheri’s head.
Drowsy, she settles by the fireplace
and its panting flames.
I watch as her left paw twitches,
nuzzled by a lamb. Behind a veil
of fur, she counts sheep.
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: My Bearded Collie
Hi Bob,
I came
I read
I workshopped
^^ imagine that in Latin to the cadence of the famous Julius Caesar phrase:
"Veni, vidi, vici"
And, ever noticed the semblance of
workshop & worship
Both of which I hope soon to share about this tour de force,
when reveni
TGiGF ☮ -- Michael
I came
I read
I workshopped
^^ imagine that in Latin to the cadence of the famous Julius Caesar phrase:
"Veni, vidi, vici"
And, ever noticed the semblance of
workshop & worship
Both of which I hope soon to share about this tour de force,
when reveni
TGiGF ☮ -- Michael
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- Posts: 2691
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: My Bearded Collie
Thx, Michael. I look forward to your workshopping.
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: My Bearded Collie
Hi Bob,
The bearded bard and his bearded collie poem
The bearded bard boards his bearded collie - but that's for another poem
I like the free-association, cross-referencing that surfaced for me during my reading.
A bit of time here to share workshopping:
1/ "I brush my bearded collie’s fur
the way I brushed my daughter’s
flowing hair, tenderly."
as
I brush my bearded collie’s coat
with gentle strokes, the way
I brushed my daughter’s flowing locks.
2/
"years lost like unpublished poetry?
To humor the tone:
dog years lost like unpublished poetry?
dog-days lost like unpublished poetry?
3/ "Careful not to block William’s"
Although you have mentioned his literary collaborator, Coleridge, most readers probably still won't readily know that's Wordsworth.
Careful not to block Wordsworth's
^^ even then a quick search of "Wordsworth" will yield the meaning of the allusion.
By then, the second reference is ready for a first-name basis:
Careful not to block Wordsworth’s straighter path,
he talks, talks, talks, throwing ideas
at William the way a sheepdog
shaking after a bath
flings off beads of radiant water.
^^ in subsequence, "William" does not appear twice in close proximity.
^^ I like the analogy of brainstorming(anima) with the animal's habitual reflex. The "radiant"(illumination) subtlety refines the metaphor, without getting too fancy - just "the right word", imaginatively, like Coleridge, like Bob.
I hope to return with the more I would like to share, but "miles to go . .
Michael (MV)
The bearded bard and his bearded collie poem
The bearded bard boards his bearded collie - but that's for another poem
I like the free-association, cross-referencing that surfaced for me during my reading.
A bit of time here to share workshopping:
1/ "I brush my bearded collie’s fur
the way I brushed my daughter’s
flowing hair, tenderly."
as
I brush my bearded collie’s coat
with gentle strokes, the way
I brushed my daughter’s flowing locks.
2/
"years lost like unpublished poetry?
To humor the tone:
dog years lost like unpublished poetry?
dog-days lost like unpublished poetry?
3/ "Careful not to block William’s"
Although you have mentioned his literary collaborator, Coleridge, most readers probably still won't readily know that's Wordsworth.
Careful not to block Wordsworth's
^^ even then a quick search of "Wordsworth" will yield the meaning of the allusion.
By then, the second reference is ready for a first-name basis:
Careful not to block Wordsworth’s straighter path,
he talks, talks, talks, throwing ideas
at William the way a sheepdog
shaking after a bath
flings off beads of radiant water.
^^ in subsequence, "William" does not appear twice in close proximity.
^^ I like the analogy of brainstorming(anima) with the animal's habitual reflex. The "radiant"(illumination) subtlety refines the metaphor, without getting too fancy - just "the right word", imaginatively, like Coleridge, like Bob.
I hope to return with the more I would like to share, but "miles to go . .
Michael (MV)
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- Posts: 2691
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: My Bearded Collie
Thanks, Michael. I appreciate your workshopping ideas.
Re: My Bearded Collie
Bob, a wonderful poem,
Michael has given some suggestions and will workshop further.
Waiting for his take on this poem,
Michael has given some suggestions and will workshop further.
Waiting for his take on this poem,
meenas17
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: My Bearded Collie
To add:
"I have no promises to keep tonight"
^^ I admire how seamlessly this allusion to Frost's famous poem about stopping by the snowy woods articulates in your poem - so seamless, I ask the writer:
"Were you consciously alluding to Frost?"
Moreover, this poem overall is a fine example of literary allusion at play without calling attention to itself. Instead, quietly content with being in sturdy service to the poem's intent & content.
Also, in general, I usually like dog poems. Have you seen a movie from about 3 years ago titled, "Alpha"?
The old dog barks backwards without getting up;
I can remember when he was pup.
^^ another dog poem - a micro-model poem I carry with me like a poet's best friend -
this closed- couplet poem by Robert Frost is also symbolic like yours. Bob.
Michael (MV)
"I have no promises to keep tonight"
^^ I admire how seamlessly this allusion to Frost's famous poem about stopping by the snowy woods articulates in your poem - so seamless, I ask the writer:
"Were you consciously alluding to Frost?"
Moreover, this poem overall is a fine example of literary allusion at play without calling attention to itself. Instead, quietly content with being in sturdy service to the poem's intent & content.
Also, in general, I usually like dog poems. Have you seen a movie from about 3 years ago titled, "Alpha"?
The old dog barks backwards without getting up;
I can remember when he was pup.
^^ another dog poem - a micro-model poem I carry with me like a poet's best friend -
this closed- couplet poem by Robert Frost is also symbolic like yours. Bob.
Michael (MV)
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- Posts: 2691
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: My Bearded Collie
Thanks, Michael. You say the kindest things.
Yeh, I was alluding to Frost, but I didn’t preplan it... it just kinda fell into place. Thx for noticing. You’re the 1st to mention it.
Yeh, I love dog poems too. I wish there were more cat poems... but they’re much harder to write. So they’re like meteorites on a cloudy night, hard to find.
Yeh, I was alluding to Frost, but I didn’t preplan it... it just kinda fell into place. Thx for noticing. You’re the 1st to mention it.
Yeh, I love dog poems too. I wish there were more cat poems... but they’re much harder to write. So they’re like meteorites on a cloudy night, hard to find.