KILLING THE INNOCENT

[SnickleFrittes]

they say
high blood pressure
is the
silent
killer

it comes
in the night
or
at the
little league
baseball game

unexpectedly
drops you
like a sac
of eggs
on the stained
pavement

you know. . .

they say
the same
about a
broken
heart

[Michael (MV)]

Welcome to the Block, SnickleFrittes

I like how the poem *drops* down the page, a la William Carlos Williams.

I like the poem  

workshop illustrated below for your perusal & consideration       -- Michael (MV)


"killing the innocent" 


high blood
pressure is the silent
killer

it comes
in the night
or

at the little
league baseball game

unexpectedly
drops you
like a sac
of eggs
on the stained
pavement

the same
with a broken
heart


 
 
 
 
 


 
 

[SivaRamanathan]

Welcome to the block SnickleFrittes!

I like Michael's work shopping of your poem.It is minimalistic.

Siva

[richardc]

I like the contrasts in this. "sack of eggs" and "broken heart"

"in the night" and "at the litle league game"

I'm also a sucker for "slim" poems like this that punctuate themelves.

The title leads you to believe it's about wartime - another contrast.

well done, RC