All Critiques welcome

[Mac12358]

The whole bay twinkled gently all around
The sea a rolling mirror of the sky
I saw her silhouette and heard the sound
of calmness trickle down, I seemed to fly

Or float. Yes float, I could not quite believe
Continuous perfection did exist
Another thought occurred and would not leave
A word that makes all lovers writhe and twist

Frantically, I glanced around the shore
My minds attempt to halt my soul's distress
But all around the water now did roar
One long word of utter dread: Meaningless

My dreamlike state soon shattered like the light
that eclipsed her face on that beautiful night.

[franklyfedup]

Poor title, if it's not a tile then it should not be there it should be lower down after the poem... like a postscript. Am I being pedantic, I suppose I am.

'Now did roar' jarred a bit, a devilish devise to force the thyme.

Your syllable count is crock, nothing regular which would make the poem bearable.

Your iambic flow dreadful, if you don't know what I mean please go buy a book on verse and study.

You saw a beautiful girl and wanted to write about it, admirable as that is the poem is laboured to say the least.