Devils Courthouse

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 1176
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Devils Courthouse

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 29 Oct 2019, 15:00

At Devils Courthouse you can see
a hundred miles. What you scream
enters the universe at 5711 feet with
enough timbre to vibrate leaves,
cause a redhawk to alter its descent.

The altitude and escarpment creates
a sonic shelf: the wind is wrong, it
rains five feet above ground, echoes
don't always come back in order.

What you scream is why you come.
Since Trail of Tears, the mountain
is known for betrayal. Judaculla
lives here, the God of Vengeance

There are both ancient and modern
ciphers carved in tree bark, stones
piled up to make an oath marker.

They come here to scream the name
of an unfaithful lover, a dead child,
call a curse down on enemy. .
They confess unspeakable acts,
never to be mentioned again.

They sat noone has stayed the night.
You say your peace and move on.

judyt547
Posts: 106
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
Location: middle of the woods
Contact:

Re: Devils Courthouse

#2 Post by judyt547 » 29 Oct 2019, 17:15

I've read this over a few times, and what stands out (for me) is: "way too much information".
It becomes a kind of dissertation on Devil's Courthouse with linebreaks.

My inclination would be to turn it into more poem and less travelogue.
When I was looking this place up, one line caught my attention. "they say the devil held court in the cave"
and what a great place to start the poem.

Best sections: "the wind is wrong it/rains five feet above ground/echoes don't always come back in order." ""Both ancient and moders ciphers/
carved in tree bark, stones piled up "for marking oaths)"
"They say no one has stayed the night/you say your piece and move on."

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1176
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Devils Courthouse

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 29 Oct 2019, 17:24

I've tried to write poems about places. Not my forte.
I wrote this for the season. It's a real place though

Thanks for the read

judyt547
Posts: 106
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
Location: middle of the woods
Contact:

Re: Devils Courthouse

#4 Post by judyt547 » 29 Oct 2019, 18:56

I didn't say it was bad, though. It's got some dynamite lines in it,
and it might be worth taking those and building something
slightly mystical about Devil's Courthouse from it.

I agree, it's difficult to get the poetic slant into a real place
without the travel description.
And I knew it was real, 'cause I looked it up. =)

I think the term 'poetic license' was invented for places
just like this.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1176
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Devils Courthouse

#5 Post by Kenneth2816 » 29 Oct 2019, 19:28

I'd take you there

judyt547
Posts: 106
Joined: 17 Jan 2013, 19:46
Location: middle of the woods
Contact:

Re: Devils Courthouse

#6 Post by judyt547 » 29 Oct 2019, 20:38

Smiles. I love ancient places like this. Here in NH we have
Lost River, which is an amazing complex of rivers, caves,
and trails. I am no longer willing or able to root through
the caves, but the rest is still doable.

Put this away for now, and take in out in a week or two and see where
you could mystery-up this place without the place getting in the way
of the poem. It's got legs, for sure.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1176
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Devils Courthouse

#7 Post by Kenneth2816 » 29 Oct 2019, 21:27

Ok

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