"old man above the autumn"

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
Michael (MV)
Posts: 1573
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

"old man above the autumn"

#1 Post by Michael (MV) » 03 Nov 2019, 18:11

"old man above the autumn"

1/ John Keats born Halloween 1795

Old: only live once;
and that life is brief, art is long

Present: born once to live forever

The museum
a mausoleum:
all the fine art
mummified.

I hear John Keats
with the ear in my HeArt
my brother's voice
freed from the cold of the urn

Never one foot already in the grave
and only shoes drop dead.
Always one foot already Home
waiting for the other one
to receive the Miracle Lift

Just ask Fanny Brawne
who lost breath upon hearing John died
with her ear to his HeArt
I believe she knows
and Mary, too - the soul of Percy



2/ ekphrastic

a fire-breathing
plasmatic mug
serendipitously morphing
into a sizzlin' jack o' lantern
branding solar sensation across the universe

 
https://www.nasa.gov/sites/default/file ... 014_2k.jpg


The serenading Sunpkin
its wizened mug
a torchy dirge
composed on wavelengths
numb to the season of the witch
O for a life of Sensations rather than of Thoughts!

 

 

 





 





 

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1004
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: "old man above the autumn"

#2 Post by SivaRamanathan » 03 Nov 2019, 19:46

M

In your minimalistic writing, much depends on what is not said. The last stanza makes sense as if pulled out of a capsule. A summing up of the previous two stanzas.

S

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1573
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: "old man above the autumn"

#3 Post by Michael (MV) » 03 Nov 2019, 20:04

Thanks, Siva,

Minimalism is especially like that - akin to lyricism


I have edited - hopefully evolved - since you posted your response,

which I thank you for, Siva

😎

Michael (MV)

Post Reply

Return to “Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang”